“Mrs. Donaghy”

Synopsis

Jack and Liz accidentally get married. Jenna and Danny become quarrelsome dressing room mates. Tracy’s wife wants a job.

Episode Details

Episode
S05E011 (511)
First aired
20-Jan-2011
Transcript
View full dialogue
Writer
Jack Burditt
Director
Tricia Brock
Frank's Hat
Dream Reader

There was a 5 week break between the last episode (S05E10 “Christmas Attack Zone”) which aired 9-Dec-2010, and this episode.

0:00
Jonathan
Happy New Year! Congratulations on getting married, sir. I know I didn’t deserve to be invited, so I thought I would give you your gift now.
Jack
Not if it’s a song.
Jonathan
It’s not. It’s… [takes off belt] This belt.
Jack
Well, the nuptials were perfect. We rented a villa on St. Esclavage.

St. Esclavage is made up. There, I just saved you a trip to Google.

Spoiler: Jonathan was going to sing to Jack as a gift.

0:27
Jack
For my second wedding I just wanted a five minute ceremony surrounded by one giant party, so the service was performed by an exiled French Admiral slash defrocked minister.
Admiral
Si quelqu’un s’oppose à l’union de cet homme riche et de sa domestique grecque, qu’il parle maintenant ou garde le silence à jamais.

I think they purposefully had the Admiral talk really fast and babbly to make it even more difficult, but luckily my good friend Stef is fluent in over six million forms of communication and translated this to, basically “if anyone sees a reason why he should not marry this dirty little Greek, that he speak now or keep his silence forever.”

[Update:] Even more fluent Virginie managed to hear the entire thing, which was “,” which translates to “If anyone is opposed to the union of this wealthy man and his Greek servant, he shall speak now or keep silent forever.” Thanks!

0:44
Jack
Uh, the only hiccup was [gives belt back] my best man, deep-sea explorer and raconteur Bob Ballard took ill after eating some bad toucan, so, uh, Lemon.. filled in as my best man.
Jonathan
[strangled hysterical laugh]

Robert Ballard is a deep-sea explorer, investigating numerous shipwrecks and, most famously, discovering the final resting place of the RMS Titanic in 1985. He also spoke at TED in 2008 on the importance of exploring the oceans.

Jack mentioned his relationship with Ballard before in S04E09 “Klaus and Greta” when he told Liz celebrating New Year’s party with him and got horribly ill on an amphora of 2000 year old wine from a sunken Phoenician trading vessel.

As far as I can tell, no one eats toucan. Or at least no one has admitted to it. I was hoping to hear a first-hand account of what they taste like. Do you think they taste like Froot Loops?? How cool would that be?

1:30
Tracy
Liz Lemon, I want it to be noted that I’m here on time. It’s a new year and a fresh start for me. Now I gotta go.
Liz
Where are you going?
Tracy
I’m hosting the International Pornography Awards and I have to go get a insurance physical so I can fly into the arena in a penis-shape parachute.

No such thing, but they’re probably referencing the AVN Awards (Adult Video News Awards), known as the “Oscars of porn,” that has been held annually in Las Vegas since 1994.

Here are your list of 2010 Winners (obviously NSFW), including categories such as “Best MILF Release,” “Best Gonzo Release” (porn filmed to make it look like it’s from your perspective!), Best Squirting Series, and Most Outrageous Sex Scene (Belladonna: No Warning 4).

1:49
Liz
[opens door to Jenna’s dressing room]
Technician
書呆子只! [Shūdāizi zhǐ!] [Subtitle: Nerds only!]

Okay I don’t speak… Whatever this guy is speaking. I have no ear for Asian languages. I used Google Translate and listened to the translation into Chinese, Korean, and Japanese, and Chinese sounded the closest. If any of my fantastic readers knows what language this is and what he’s actually saying, please let me know.

1:57
Liz
Hey, what is going on with Jenna’s dressing room?
Pete
Jack rented it out to an IT company. The Kabletown board is meeting this week to approve buying NBC and he’s doing everything possible to make us seem profitable. He turned the Green Room into an NBC Experience store, and we have to schedule our rehearsals around the Bat Mitzvahs Jack has booked in the studio.
Jewish Man
When Madison was born I said Rifkah, my shveltz is filled with shpoinkus.

The Kabletown-NBC deal has been an ongoing theme in 30 Rock and has a (very) close analogue in the real Comcast-NBC Universal deal. You see what they did there?

Anyway, on January 18, 2011 the FCC and Justice Department voted to approve Comcast’s purchase of NBC Universal. Since then the whole thing’s been delayed a bit, but 30 Rock’s definitely keeping in close sync with the real-life goings on!

A “green room” is the waiting room for actors who are fully ready to go on-stage but aren’t yet required. They used to be green but aren’t necessarily so anymore.

From what I can tell, the NBC Experience Store is the physical version of the NBC Universal Store, where you can buy all sorts of NBC-branded stuff. Oddly enough, the official nbcstudiotour.com has a link at the bottom to the NBC Experience Store but it doesn’t work. Nice job.

Also, the NBC Experience sign reads “NEW FALL SHOW MERCHANDISE, 100% OFF, NOW OPEN.” Hilarious!

A Bat Mitzvah is the same as a Bar Mitzvah (Jewish coming of age ceremony/celebration) but for girls. Interestingly it’s at 13 years of age for boys and 12 for girls, probably because girls mature faster. Bat Mitzvahs only became popular in the last century. And I’m pretty sure the words “shveltz” and “shpoinkus” are made up, but sound revoltingly similar to most yiddish words used in English.

2:25
Liz
Total chaos. No rehearsal, no program, the bride wore a black cocktail dress, and airline lost my luggage and the onliy place to buy anything on the island was at the tennis pro shop. Luckily I had my essentials in my carry-on: toiletries, close-toed shoes, and the State Department-recommended mosquito head net.
Pete
I sense more complaining in you.
Liz
TERRIBLE flower girl. At four years old you should know how to pace your petal distribution.
Liz
[flashback to wedding] Hannah! Petal, step, petal, step! Come on!
Liz
And don’t even get me started on the monkeys.

Very nice;) Pete’s line is a Star Wars reference, a take off on Yoda’s “I sense much fear in you” line.

2:25
Jonathan
YOU! It needs to see Mr. Donaghy. It needs to see him right away.

Fantastic;) This might be one of two different references:

  1. A take-off on Gollum from Lord of the Rings, mimicking the character’s reference to the Hobbit Frodo as “it,” like “it suspects us!”
  2. Imitating Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs, where he had a woman trapped down a well and called her “it” while talking to her, like “it puts the lotion in the basket.” Deliciously creepy scene. I’d link to the original scene, but I think this (NSFW: swearing) musical Lego version is extra hilarious.

3:04
Jack
Elizabeth, shut the door. Lemon, during my wedding ceremony do you remember being asked a question by the minster?
Liz
Yeah, it was something like “Foh foh foh, ruhtie foh foh foh?”
Jack
And despite of not understanding you responded “oui.”
Liz
Well, one of my New Year’s resolutions is to say “yes.” Yes to love, yes to life, yes to staying in more!

I love Liz’s imitation of what French people sound like;)

The “saying yes” is a general positive-thinking meme where you say “yes” to anything that presents itself. Say “yes” to new opportunities, new experiences, new jobs, new outlooks and you’ll be a richer person in every sense of the word. Stephen Colbert gave an amazing 2006 graduation speech at Knox College that covered this topic. If you don’t want to read the whole speech, jump to page 4 for the “say yes” section.

3:29
Jack
Uh, do you remember signing this document afterwards?
Liz
Yeah. The minister told me to. On the “Épouse” line. “Witness.”
Jack
Not “witness.” No, Lemon. “Wife.”
Liz
MOTHER F-
Admiral
[flashback to wedding as Jack is kissing Avery] [to Liz] Vous partagez? C’est très Européenne.  Est-ce que je peux joindre votre partage? [Subtitle: You share? That’s very European. May I join you in your sharing?]
Liz
[flashback] Oui!
Liz
They married US by mistake?

This French line was apparently much easier to hear, and the subtitle’s correct.

4:03
Liz
See, this is exactly the kind of thing that happens when there is no order, no planning. Hitler and Martha Stewart would have hated that wedding.
Jack
Of course it’s everyone else’s fault that the minster thought the lady in the white dress and the veil was the bride.

Two jokes in one! That Hitler and Martha Stewart were extraordinarily organized, and somehow both organized in the same way, despite Martha Stewart’s organization skills more geared to tea cozies and knick knack bins instead of military infrastructure and the extermination of Jews.

4:21
Jack
Who wears shoes on a beach?!
Liz
Only Rocky and Apollo Creed during the training montage! Who cares, you’re fixing it.

I’ll save you a trip to YouTube. Here’s the scene from Rocky III.

4:31
Liz
I’m sorry you got caught up in another one of Liz Lemon’s adventures.
Jack
MY adventures. I am the protagonist! Avery is in China right now covering an economic conference. She is not a spy! I want this taken care of before she gets back. Divorce papers are being drawn up. TRY to sign on the right line.
Liz
Whatever you say, dear.
Jack
Do NOT. Do… NOT.
Liz
[in Southern accent] Don’t forget, honey, we have bridge with the Cunninghams tonight.
Jack
[throws vase at the door]

Protagonist = hero of the story, vs. the antagonist who’s the villain. In this case Jack’s saying he’s the hero and Liz is the villain for messing up the wedding with her craziness. Liz was trying to imply she was the poor, beset-upon protagonist and the Admiral was the villain for getting confused.

As for the Cunninghams line, I though it was an imitation of Marion from Happy Days, but then realized she is the Cunningham so that wouldn’t make sense. Also it sounds nothing like her. My next idea was it may refer to the Cunninghams in To Kill a Mockingbird, but that also doesn’t work at all. So I think she just made up the line to evoke old American patriarchal household chit-chat to annoy Jack.

4:55
Dr. Spaceman
Tracy, you are going to die.
Tracy
What? NO!
Dr. Spaceman
When I tell you who I’m dating. Squeaky Fromme. She is… difficult.

Lynette “Squeaky” Fromme is a member (joined in 1967) of the Manson family and attempted to assassinate President Gerald Ford in 1975. Read: all kinds of crazy.

5:05
Dr. Spaceman
Anyhoo, I have the results of your physical. Tracy, you are going to die.
Tracy
What? NO!
Dr. Spaceman
You have no reflexes, your blood tastes like root beer, and some of your bones appear to have vanished. Now I’ve only ever seen this kind of thing on dead people on Operation Desert Storm. I actually wrote a report on it but my commander refused to pass it on up to Saddam. Kooky times.

This is Dr. Spaceman’s shtick: start with a shocking sentence, pause inappropriately, then continue with the rest of the “innocent” sentence. They had a running gag in Arrested Development (also a fantastic show, cancelled far too soon) where a Dr. Fishman did the same thing.

His last sentence implies he worked for Saddam Hussein and therefore the Iraqis in Operation Desert Storm.

5:54
Kenneth
Thank you for taking in Miss Maroney, Mr. Baker. We would have asked you sooner, but we forgot you worked here.

Referring to the fact Cheyenne Jackson (Danny) is woefully under-used in 30 Rock. He’s been in a total of 8 episodes, but only one this season: S05E04 “Live Show.”

6:57
Liz
Jack is no my boyfriend. He is… dot dot dot… my husband.
Writers
[gasp]
Lutz
On your wedding night did he take you in the French fashion?

I’m guessing this means “anal sex,” as the French stereotype is that they’re more sexual and adventurous (some, like Lutz, may say depraved). A study was done in 2001 and reported 29% of French women “engaged in this practice.” I can’t wait to see what the 30 Rock French translator (allo!) does with this line;)

Ha! The French translator did get back to me on this one:

Sorry Cam! Top secret!

But if you need help with others french lines, just tell me!

7:14
Jeffrey Weinerslav
Liz, you should know that NBC has strict anti-nepotism guidelines. If your husband is your boss then you’re both going to have to come to my office and discuss this.
Liz
What? No, it’s not REAL. We’re getting a divorce.
Jeffrey Weinerslav
That’s what Ann Curry and Subhas the janitor tried to tell me. That was five years ago.

Nepotism: favoritism granted to relatives or friends regardless of merit.

Subhas the janitor has appeared in four previous episodes but has never been accused of something so exciting as having an affair with Ann Curry, journalist, anchor of the NBC’s Today, and host of Dateline NBC. Interesting fact, the actor who plays Subhas is Subhas Ramsaywack.

7:32
Pete
You don’t sign any divorce papers until we get the studio back, our full budget, our health insurance-
Liz
Pete I’m not-
Pete
They shut down your secret bathroom to save on cleaning costs.
Liz
[gasps] I have to talk to my husband.

Ah! I could have sworn they had something about Liz’s secret bathroom in previous episodes but I can’t find it. If anyone finds anything let me know!

7:54
Jack
[on the phone] No, no, Bob, we made it very clear. You have to buy NBC with everything else. Then just don’t watch it.

Bob.. Hmm… So Jack’s obviously talking to Kabletown, which is a proxy for Comcast, which was founded by Ralph J. Roberts and is currently run by his son, Brain. L. Roberts. Bob is short for Robert. Maybe?

The joke here is there’s some show Bob doesn’t like in NBC’s lineup, so the writers are taking pokes at their own network’s TV shows.

8:02
Jack
[hangs up phone] What is it, Lemon? I’m trying to negotiate a thirty billion dollar deal. That’s “billion” with a “b.” [to himself] Is that right? That seems like way too much.

Yup, the deal between Comcast and NBC Universal is for $30 billion, which Jack thinks is too much for NBC, another shot at the network;)

8:12
Lemon
Yeah well my staff and I are also trying to do our jobs but we can’t without studio space or health insurance or those vegetable chips that I hate and I keep telling Kenneth not to get.
Jack
Let me show you something, Lemon. [holds up chart] This is one NBC Priority pie chart. The big red part you can see is “The Biggest Loser.” The yellow slice, our number two priority, “Make it 1997 again through science or magic,” and the little green part is everything else. Request denied.

The Biggest Loser is a reality show and NBC’s highest rated TV series which features people try to lose weight and has run for eleven seasons. ELEVEN! People! Reality TV is not TV. Go watch something where you need to use your brain at least a little bit.

And 1997 was a huge year for NBC. Nielsen ratings show the top 6 shows all belonging to NBC: E.R., Seinfeld, Suddenly Susan, Friends, Naked Truth, and Fired Up.

9:06
Jack
Very well. We’ll do this divorce the hard way. But I’m warning you, this isn’t my first rodeo, Lemon.
Lemon
Well I’ve been to a rodeo too. It was a cat rodeo in a gay guy’s apartment. [awkwardly picks her way past the furniture on the way out]

I don’t know why this sounds so familiar. I thought she had mentioned it before or it was a real saying, but no. I can think of a few really crude definitions, but I’ll leave that as an exercise for the reader.

9:30
Danny
Hey! What happened to my poster of the Montreal Alouettes? It’s signed by Marc Trestman!
Jenna
Oh it’s TACKY, Danny. Just like your mother’s stupid chain emails.

The Montreal Alouettes (or in French, Les Alouettes de Montréal) are Montreal’s football team. Danny is a known Canadian. And Marc Trestman is currently the head coach for the Alouettes.

10:01
Pete
[laughs and pours two glasses of liquor] Look, Paula and I love each other, but two people living together? It’s unnatural. And while our children are basically snot silos with BB guns, they do come in handy. As a buffer. [starts drinking both glasses, to Kenneth’s disappointment]
Kenneth
Is that like being a fluffer? Because I have done that and did not enjoy it. Blow drying animals at a pet salon is hard work.

Oh, Kenneth. So naive. A fluffer is actually the person who keeps a male porn star aroused before a scene.

10:26
Pete
No, a buffer is… uh… a protective barrier.
Kenneth
Like pigs have around their delicious testicle meat!

Well I’m not sure if pigs have any “delicious meat” around their testicles aside from the scrotum (which several of my friends tell me is quite delicious), but to make up for my uncertainty, here’s a pig with giant testicles at a state fair set to Lady in Red. No need to thank me.

10:46
Tracy
Thanks, Jack, for coming to this emergency meeting. I’m sorry I’m four hours late but my alarm clock didn’t go off because it died in a cock fight last night.

So apparently Tracy uses (used) a rooster to get him up in the morning. Until he killed it in a cock fight. Kay. I’ve actually seen a cock fight in Mexico when I was younger. My dad liked taking me to strange things, and bless him for it. They actually have these razors they attach to the cock’s feet (naturally they have claws that grow there for fighting). They let them go and it’s all feathers and chaos and stabbing until one stops moving. They also sell beer.

10:54
Jack
Tracy, what can I do for you.
Tracy
Well it’s come to my attention that I’m going to die.
Jack
Oh, please, you have nothing to worry about. We have Martin Lawrence on a holding deal.

Funny! Tracy’s character’s movie career is closely based on Martin Lawrence’s. Especially the movies Bad Boys and Big Momma’s House.

11:11
Jack
Estate planning is complicated, what with the government taking half.
Angie
What!? That’s double taxation!
Jack
I like you, Angie. How can I help?

Double taxation in the United States occurs for dividend income, inheritance, and gifts. This is appealing to Jack’s conservative Republicanism, which seems to be his soft spot.

11:25
Tracy
And if you need to make millions of dollars but have no real skills or education, the best place to do it is in entertainment. I mean, look at me! [everyone laughs] I can’t even find Mexico on the map. [laughs]

I think this is a reference to the old joke where Americans can’t find the United States on a map. Apparently it’s not really as bad as that, and although their general geography is pretty piss poor, most other countries don’t fare that much better.

12:27
Liz
Angie, an intern’s job is to do things like make copies and make errands.
Angie
So I’m like your servant?
Liz
No. Because you’re not being paid. You’re really more like…
Angie
[gives Liz withering look with D’Fwan]
Liz
Oh boy. Look, Angie, you don’t want to be an intern.

Black people who don’t get paid to do manual labour? I believe they’re called slaves. Oops. Too soon?

13:09
Kenneth
Look. I made this picture of us.
Jenna
Did you draw that? You might need help. That’s awful for an adult.
Danny
Well I think it’s great, Kenneth. You should hang it on the wall.

Reminds me of the web pages that make fun of kid’s artwork. Which can be hilarious if done correctly.

14:22
Angie
I will rip your weave out! [grabs Liz’s hair]
Liz
It’s not a weave! Ah! Ow!
Angie
[rips out some of Liz’s hair]

Hair weave: Artificial or natural hair attached to your own hair for the purpose of lengthening/thickening. It’s attached by gluing, weaving (thus the name), or a variety of other methods. Yeah yeah most of you know this. Some of us don’t, you know!

14:28
Jack
I should never have made you an intern. You’re a star!
Angie
That’s right, I am!
Jack
Entertainment IS where untalented people go to get rich, and you have all the making of a reality superstar. Hair pullingness, delusions of grandeur, an insanely short fuse, catch phrases!
Angie
It’s my way till payday.
Jack
That’s the t-shirt. I should give you your own reality show. Friday nights. [looks at Liz] Eleven o’clock.

Ahhh perfect description of reality TV! Take a bunch of crazies with anti-social personalities that won’t mesh, film the hell out of them, and if you don’t get enough drama, create it via editing!

15:29
Liz
Pete, you and Paula fight a lot…
Pete
No, I- I walked into a door, ah.. so clumsy.

Hehe… Plays off the old cliche excuse for a wife with a black eye: “oh, I walked into a door.” I love how Pete never misses a chance to emasculate himself. And did this line sound vaguely Asian?

15:44
Liz
But how do I fight back?
Pete
Well first off you can’t back down. If you do that we get nothing. I agreed to go to a furniture store instead of watching football ONE time, and I haven’t seen a game since.
Jenna
Oh I hear ya. I mean take Danny… please.

Jenna’s doing her best Rodney Dangerfield impression. The “take my wife, please” bit was actually made famous by Henny Youngman (see video). You can tell she’s doing a Dangerfield, though, by the trademark “adjusting his tie” move.

16:05
Tracy
Don’t even get me started on marriage. [silence] Thank you.

They didn’t. Took me a second to laugh at this.

16:16
Kenneh
What is it, Danny?
Danny
Well, sport, I’m going to be moving out.
Kenneh
I don’t understand.
Jenna
Well, sometimes two people who care about each other just can’t live together.
Kenneh
Oh, no, I get that. What I don’t get is this is Danny’s dressing room.
Jenna
[signs “no” to Kenneth]
Danny
I’m going to be staying at the Y. It’s that dark place under the bleachers shaped like a wishbone.

I’m going to go out on a limb and say I don’t get this. It’s a great image, but I definitely don’t get the “bleachers” reference. Wishbone I’d guess is the Y’s big glowing red “Y” logo. Anyone?

16:36
Kenneh
But you’re my Danny and Jenna.
Jenna
And we’ll always be Danny and Jenna. We just won’t be Danny and Jenna together.
Danny
And don’t think for one second this means we love you less. Know that it means that.
Kenneh
[nods]

I don’t like Danny’s line. He’s been established as the super nice Canadian guy, and here he’s just spiteful. To Kenneth of all people. Should have been Jenna’s line or a completely different joke.

17:08
Liz
[on TV with title “Elizabeth Lemon-Donaghy, Generous Donation to NY Public Schools”] [bad Boston accent] My husband and I are absolutely so pleased to be underwriting the Jack and Elizabeth Donaghy High School for Teen Drama, the Arts, and Feelings!
Jack
Son of a bitch.
Liz
As embarrassed Americans, Jack and I pledge five million dollars to create a new generation of choreographers and puppeteers, clowns, video artists, and theatrical jugglers who will ask the world “What is art?”
Jack
We KNOW what art is. It’s painting of horses!

I’ll get to the accent in the next quote, but in this one Liz carefully chooses her words to appeal to the liberal; touchy-feely, creative, and into the arts. Jack’s staunch conservative values would consider only oil paintings of traditional scenes in the style of the great masters to be “art.”

18:16
Jack
Uh huh. And what about your little announcement last night? Do you know how many fires I had to put out this morning because of you? And what was that voice?
Liz
It’s my imitation of Drew Barrymore’s impression of that crazy lady.

“That crazy lady” is Little Edie, played by Drew Barrymore in the 2009 film Grey Gardens, about the eccentric cousins of Jacqueline Kennedy. And Drew Barrymore does sound a lot like that in the film.

She also happens to sound a lot like Jack’s ex-girlfriend Nancy Donavan.

18:34
Jeffrey Weinerslav
All righty, let’s just dive on in. Does the employee spend an inordinate amount of time in the employer’s office compared to other employees.
Jack
Well yes, I support, but only because Miss Lemon is incapable of doing anything on her own.
Liz
Och, please. Half the time when I go up there it’s to choose a tie and they’re all red or blue.
Jack
Where I come from if you have more than two colors on a tie it means [hand to his mouth, which Liz imitates] you’re looking for a certain kind of bar.
Liz
[rolls eyes]

Certain kind of bar where people where mutli-coloured ties? Gay bar. Answered. Next.

18:59
Jeffrey Weinerslav
Are all workday conversations business-related or do personal issues often dominate discussion, including, but not limited to, mothers, diarrhea, having babies, problems in the bedroom, neckties, food issues, foot disorders, having it all-

Oh my. These are all references to previous episodes. I’ll do what I can:

I’m sure I didn’t get them all.

19:39
Jeffrey Weinerslav
Uh, have you spent time with each other’s families? Have you attended special events together, such as class reunions, birthday or holiday celebrations, weddings or extended car trips? Are you each other’s emergency contacts? Do you even drink together at work, perhaps while summarizing what you’ve learned over the day or week? Have you shared intimate details of your fears, hopes, and dreams, both personal and professional? Is this the longest and perhaps most meaningful relationship in your life? Do you often find yourselves thinking the same thing and then saying it at the exact same time?

They’re not going easy on me this week:

  • Spent time with each other’s families: Most notably in S02E09 “Ludachristmas” where Colleen Donaghy, Jack, Liz, and the Lemons spent Christmas together; and last episode, S05E10 “Christmas Attack Zone” where Liz and Jack have Christmas dinner with both Colleen and Jack’s father, Milton Greene.
  • Attended class reunions together: Jack came with Liz to hers in S03E05 “Reunion.”
  • Attended birthdays together: Jack and Liz attended Prince Gerhardt’s birthday together in S01E12 “Black Tie.” I’m sure there’s more.
  • Attended holiday celebrations together: The aforementioned “Ludachristmas.” I’m sure there’s more of these, too.
  • Attended weddings together: The story of Jack’s wedding was told this episode, and in S04E21 “Emanuelle Goes to Dinasour Land” and S04E22 “I Do Do” they both attended Floyd’s wedding and Griz’s wedding.
  • Extended car trips together: In S04E03 “Stone Mountain” Jack and Liz take a trip to Kenneth’s home town of Stone Mountain, Georgia to find a new actor for The Girlie Show.
  • Emergency contacts: In S01E21 “Hiatus” Jack tells Liz she’s his emergency contact because “You’re the only person I know who wouldn’t hesitate to pull the plug.”
  • Drink together at work while going over the day/week: Often, but most recently at the end of S05E04 “Live Show.”
  • Shared intimate details of fears, hopes, dreams both personal and professional: Constantly.
  • Longest and most meaningful relationship: Not sure about that, but they certainly imply that here.
  • Saying the same thing at the same time: Wait for it…

Again, so much over so many episodes! If anyone thinks of a reference for these missing let me know.

20:20
Liz
I’m sorry, Jack.
Jack
I apologize, Lemon.
Liz
I never should have tried to blackmail you. I’ll sign the papers.
Jack
And I shouldn’t have threatened your show. I’ll leave that to the parental decency groups. And I’ll back off on the budget. And the Bat Mizvahs.

Governmentattic.org used the United States Freedom of Information act to request informal complaints filed against Saturday Night Live (which The Girlie Show seems to be based upon). The results [PDF] are pretty hilarious.

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