“The Fabian Strategy”

Tom Jones is a fantastic Welsh singer. I love him and so should you. Liz has NO reason to tell him no. No reason at all!

Paul Allen co-founded Microsoft will Bill Gates and made assloads of money off the whole thing. He used part of it to buy a yacht. There are yachts and there are yachts. This is the latter. The Octopus secured its position as one of the world’s largest yachts in 2003, and is equipped with two helicopters, two submarines, a swimming pool, a music studio and a basketball court.

Bo Derek is a model/actress who rose to fame in her early twenties (she’s in her mid-fifties now), so it’s a bit of a weird, dated, reference, especially as Jack is referring to Avery, played by the 36 year old Elizabeth Banks. Whatever, Bo Derek was super hot in her day.

Barry Goldwater was also pretty good looking (see this picture of him with a younger Ronald Regan), but I think that was back in the early 1800′s. The man died in 1998. Jack’s probably rolling him in there because however, as far as I can tell, was never hot. Instead he was nicknamed “Mr. Conservative” and was the Republican party’s presidential nominee in the 1964 US election. In a weird and probably unrelated coincidence, Barry was known to collect hundreds of Kachina dolls, similar to Jack’s collection of cookie jars from S02E03 “The Collection”.

Said butlers even have a guild. A privacy circle would be the opposite of a circle jerk (you can look that one up yourselves), with the butlers standing in a circle with their backs to the couple making love in the sand. I can neither confirm nor deny this as a service provided by English trained butlers. but they’re known to be a discreet lot.

Lambert-St. Louis refers to the international airport. There are actually five McDonald’s restaurants close enough to possibly be seen from the Lambert-St. Louis runway. The St. Louis->Newark->Atlantic City->Newark trip would actuallylook like this. By car anyway. Google Maps doesn’t yet give a “by plane” set of directions. As for the black bachelorette parties… I’m not really sure on that one. If anyone wants to figure that out in the comments I’ll put it in!

Shark slippers. Tracy’s wearing friggin shark slippers. I love them.

And when Liz says “Season Five, here we go,” it’s actually season five of 30 Rock! Oh my! It’s a whole world of double meaning!

The art in question is one of Pete’s children chopping him in the neck with an axe while simultaneously running him through with a sword.

The Wizarding World of Harry Potter is a real place! It’s at Universal Studios Orlando and I want to go. Please send money.
Anglophile: one who is fond of English culture, a reference to Harry Potter’s English setting.

Pedophile: one who is fond of children’s nethers, a reference to the number of wee ones running about in Harry Potter land, which would make a pedophile’s feel that he’s stumbled upon a NAMBLA-run Honeydukes.

The James Cameron reference speaks to the fact James Cameron’s recent movies (specifically Titanic and Avatar) have been massive budget sensory extravaganzas you just HAVE to see, but leave you wanting. His earlier films (The Terminator , Terminator 2 , The Abyss , and even True Lies ) were much better.

Universal Media Studios was named so in 2007, prior to which it was NBC Universal Television Studio. Universal Media Studios produces a number of shows for NBC and it’s subdivision, Universal Cable Productions, produces some shows for the SyFy (WHY did you change your name??) and USA networks.
As for the “Tracy’s head size keeps changing,” I see a lot of people listing this as a good quote for this episode, but I didn’t think it was funny. However, my friends Christine & Alex went on the NBC tour, and were told that everyone that hosts Saturday Night Live has a life cast made of their head so makeup and can work on the cast while the actor works on the skits. However, they have to make a new cast if the actor changes too much, and in the fifteen times Alec Baldwin has hosted Saturday Night Live (sharing the title of most frequent host with Steve Martin), they’ve had to make eight different casts of his head.

Actually NBC, unlike Fox, doesn’t cancel a ton of really good shows. I looked up all the shows NBC has cancelled since 1998, and there were only a handful I cared about, and most of those had probably had a good run by the time they went. So… good on ya, NBC!

Pete has printed Jenna’s contract on another piece of his kids’ art. This one depicts Pete being chewed in half by a shark.
Ashton Kutcher’s actually been the producer on eighteen things! Amazing. He’s actually a pretty savvy guy when it comes to business, self-promotion, and the cutting edge of entertainment. The joke here is Ashton Kutcher’s comes off as a mimbo, so his Executive Producer credit must be hollow. Also funny is that Alec Baldin is actually listed as a producer on half of the 30 Rock episodes.

For Hillary Clinton, seeing as she ran against President Obama when he won the 2008 election and he then appointed her Secretary of State, they’re implying it was a pretty title to give her as a consolation prize.
Jenna’s wearing a pink shirt with rhinestones spelling out Business Slut.

Jack, with his piercing blue eyes as he makes eye contact with Jenna (3:21), looks just like a wolf.

I’m guessing K.K.K.K. stands for Klu Klux Klan Kenneth, a reference to his home town of Stone Mountain, Georgia, the birthday place of the second Klu Klux Klan.

Martinizing Dry Cleaning, is a company and their original form of dry cleaningwhich revolutionized the industry when Henry Martin, in 1949, invented a non-flammable dry cleaning solvent so clothes could be cleaned on-site.

Sandalwood is a distinctive smelling wood used in religious and fragrant purposes. Tracy plans to ruin it with feces.

K-Pax was a not terribly good movie starring Kevin Spacey.

I have no way to confirm nor deny this Chilli’s thing. Pilots, please try this and sound off in the comments.

Jackie O refers to Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, wife of former United States President John F. Kennedy, and was known as a social and fashion icon, much in the same way that Liz Lemon is not.

There is no such hotel chain, but interestingly, NBC’s rival CBS actually offers free wireless in midtown!

A much more NY-savvy reader than I points out there is a *Starwood* hotel chain, which has 35 hotels in NYC alone!

A “strie faux-finish” is a technique to give a wall a subtle striped texturing, making the wall look like a linen or fabric wallpaper. There is no strie faux finish called “Husk”, but there is of course a color by that name. But not one called “Elk Tongue.” I sense a marketing opportunity.

Alpha meaning Alpha Male, like the leader of a wolf pack. Again with the wolves, Jackie.

Wearing jeans and reading fiction? I’m sure it’s some sort of characterization of a man with particular political leanings that Jack is against, but figuring out exactly what this is will be left to my commenters.

Liz is actually messing up the popular account of Gallileo dropping balls of different weights off the Leaning Tower of Pisa to prove that they would fall at the same rate regardless of mass, disproving Aristotle’s theory that their rate of descent was tied directly to their weight.

Mostly true. Quintus Fabius Maximus Verrucosus Cunctator was a Roman politician and general and, when confronted with the superior Carthaginian army, used something similar to guerrilla attacks and a scorched earth policy to keep from confronting the Carthaginian army directly and saved Rome from crippling defeat. His nickname was “The Delayer.”

In 1956 Jack Paar hosted a disc jockey effort, The Jack Paar Show, on ABC. Paar once described this show as “so modest we did it from the basement rumpus room of our house in Bronxville.” (Directly from Wikipedia)

And yeah.. I’m pretty sure the old woman said “shit.” How did that get through the censors?

I hear tell out there on the intertubes that the closed captioning says “shank job”. That’s not even a thing. That’s some crap they cobbled together to get “shit job” past the censors. GO 30 ROCK!

This gets explained later. Move along.

There is a clothing chain called Chico’s in Glendale (just east of Manhattan).

Random Tracy craziness. No references.

Also random. No references. I figure I’ll put stuff in even if there’s NO reference to save people from hunting all over the place to see if there IS a reference. There. I did it for you. There isn’t.

Also no reference. Tracy just says crazy shit.

Referring of course to Steve Urkel, from the old TV show Family Matters. Urkel was also referenced in S01E01 “Pilot”. He had a habit of doing jackass things and then saying that whiny “did I do that?” phrase.

Sharon Stone is an actress. A pretty hot one at that.

Five miles would be 26,400 feet, much closer to the average commercial airliner cruising altitude of 30,000 – 40,000 feet.

No references to Mr. T and Pizza Huts. There’s a prank call some guy make to Pappa John’s using a soundboard of Mr. T, but it’s not funny enough to even link to.

Top Gun was a movie about the Air Force starring Tom Cruise. The volleyball scene in Top Gun is pretty homo-erotic. Just watch it.

This has actually happened. More than once.

Facebook is the immensely populate social networking site. You’re probably on it now. Playing Farmville.

Oh and Lutz is gay.

There is actually a band called Jackfest. And according to Urban Dictionary, Jackfest is one of:

1. A situation where way too many people are doing nothing and getting in the way and there is a lot of waiting around.
2. A situation where everyone is raining praise on each other.

Both of which are funny. None of which is a real reference here, as Jack just made it up. Oops! Spoiler.

The Food Network is a TV network dedicated to… wait for it… food. Jack is, as always, correct — the Barefoot Contessa is the show, and the Barefoot Contessa herself is none other than Ina Garten. She cooks incredibly delicious things, most of them made using an entire pound of butter. She is married to Jeffrey Garten, former Dean of and currently a professor at the Yale School of Management.

The Late Show with David Letterman is a CBS network late night talk show hosted by — yes, David Letterman, and has been on since 1983.

30 Rockefeller Plaza and the 1697 Broadway, where the Late Show with David Letterman is filmed, are only about four blocks apart.
I’m not sure if they actually sort studio audiences by attractiveness, but I like to imagine they do.

Again, Ina Garten = The Barefoot Contessa = cooking show personality.

The Muppets are a diverse set of puppets created by Jim Henson, and have indeed presented awards!

Hilarious! Sadly, it wouldn’t work. Nothing seems to. They refer to the ongoing Middle Eastern conflict between Israel, the so-called Palestine region, and the neighbouring Arab states.

Another reference to Ina Garten and her husband Geoffrey. Ina, on her show The Barefoot Contessa, often mentions that her husband is away a lot, and he appears on the show often when is he home.

Spooning is when you lie with someone, both facing the same direction, curled into each other. This shouldn’t be news to you, but if it is, go find someone to try it with. I highly recommend it.

Snood is an addictive puzzle video game.

Jack, getting cocky with his apparent victory, is calling himself Fabius, as per his earlier-explained Fabian Strategy.

Site does not exist. Don’t bother.

Blackberries, fitting Avery’s all-business persona, are business-oriented smartphones.

Jack is implying James is gay. Apparently gay people lisp. Actually, some of them do. I’ve never figured out of gay people actually speak that way and naturally suppress it if they’re trying to hide being gay (I seriously doubt it), or it’s an affectation put on when they want everyone to know they’re gay.

Mykonos is a beautiful Greek island and yes, has skies similar to the colour of Jack’s eyes.

Mark Foley was a US Congressman who flirted with teenaged male pages. Doesn’t the Internet suck, Mark Foley? That’s not going away. So Jack’s reference is that gay men would like his eyes.

True and true! For a gay man, a bear is a heavy-set hairy man, and a daddy is an older man with sexual interest in a younger man. Daddy bear. There are no major specifically “daddy bear” references out there, but I’m sure this episode will vault them into prominence in the gay community.

And, directly from Wikipedia: the GLAAD Media Awards were created in 1990 by the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) to “recognize and honor media for their fair, accurate and inclusive representations of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community and the issues that affect their lives.” So Jack’s planned gay performance to further his own petty decorating whims would give him… whatever the opposite of a GLAAD award is.

Another joke about Liz turning into a Crazy Cat Lady.

Life Alert exists and works like Liz’s: press the button to summon help, wherever you are. They were vaulted to fame years ago by commercials in which an older woman would fall to the floor and call out “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!” Oh my. Looks like they’re still using that catchphrase.

The Mentalist is a CBS network police procedural show that debuted in 2008.

Pete is drinking a beer called “Cerveza” which is just Spanish for “beer.” However, the bottle and label look almost identical to Corona.

“El fuego” means “the fire” in Spanish. Pete’s head is clearly somewhere in Mexico.

The Backstreet Boys are a “boy band” formed in 1993, and rose to prominence over the next seven years, to thankfully fall from relevance from then on. Jenna is implying they’re narcissistic and homosexual. I’m not going to argue.

Frank is wearing a “SPiN New York” t-shirt, from a table tennis social club in the Flatiron District.

Probably a reference to both Kevin Smith being kicked off a Southwest Airlines flight for being too fat, and a subsequent thin woman being kicked off a Southwest flight because the teen beside her was obese enough to need two seats. Southwest Airlines was appropriately embarrassed over both incidents.

Heightened emotional state due to multiple altitude changes? I don’t think that’s a thing.

The New York Giants are New York City’s football team.

Geico is an auto insurance company, and they do indeed have multiple mascots. Rod Serling was best known as the narrator for The Twilight Zone (the original), and he does look a lot like Mike McGlone, the one Liz is referring to. For instance in Geico’s Wabbits commercial.

Carol is referring to the ongoing scandals of priests molesting boys. Which apparently didn’t happen until the 80′s. And then had been happening for probably hundreds of years once uncovered. Funny how you don’t hear widespread reports of other religious figures molesting children. Maybe it has something to do with weird rites like abstinence. Everyone knows abstinence doesn’t work.

October 14 should be the air date of S05E04, i.e.: 3 episodes in the future. We’ll see if that pans out!

Looks like all of the “Would You Rather” games being played this episode were working toward a Would You Rather skit being shown on TGS.

This is the second reference this show to potentially being cancelled. I can’t find anything on the Internet implying the show was ever about to be cancelled.

Yup. That’s pretty much what it means.

Hannibal DID lay a trap for the Roman armies, all but wiping them out, but at the time the Roman people had revolted against Fabian’s apparent cowardice and a Marcus Minucius had seized power and charged the Roman army into Hannibal’s trap. It was Fabian that saved Minucius, who admitted he was the lesser strategist and passed the reins back to Fabian.

Kenneth’s dialog is reminiscent of Margaret Wise Brown’s children’s classic Goodnight Moon, where a little rabbit (Kenneth) says good night to everything in his room. They even added the “Good night, Moon… Song Park” as a more overt reference.