“When It Rains, It Pours”

Liz is talking about Carol, her boyfriend, played by Matt Damon. They also seem to be just outside of 30 Rockefeller Plaza.

I wish I could lip read. If anyone can figure out what he’s saying, let me know!

Never closes her mouth fully implies looseness of the mouthal region. I think you know what I mean.

Again. Please. I need a lip reader.

KISS FM is actually a very popular radio brand name, most of which are owned by Clear Channel Communications in the states. You know. The formulaic hacks that play whatever they’re paid to play by big record labels? Them. There are three KISS FM’s Liz could be referring to:

1. WKST-FM, also known as “96.1 Kiss”, in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, as Liz Lemon grew up in Pennsylvania.
2. WKSC, also known as “103.5 KISS FM”, in Chicago, Illinois, as Liz Lemon and Jenna worked together in Chiacgo.
3. WRKS-FM, better known as “98.7 Kiss FM”, in New York City (owned by Emmis Communications, not Clear Channel).

Considering the hat is from Lake Jam ’97, that would be the time when Jenna and Liz worked together in Chicago, so I think we have a winner.

Aaaaannd as far as I can tell there has never been a KISS FM “Lake Jam”, in ’97 or otherwise.

Filthy Hobo Man may have a foot fetish, but this also plays off Liz Lemon’s aversion to her own feet. Although Tina Fey also doesn’t like her feet that much.

This is Liz combining “Jack” and “Avery” and refers to the irritating way the paparazzi mash up celebrity couple’s names into a single dating entity. Other nauseating portmanteaus include Bennifer, Brangelina, Vaughniston, and TomKat.

Clever wording spawned from Genesis 1:27 “So God created man in his own image…” Jack being God in this case, and having created a boy. WIth Avery. Good on ‘im;)

Of course a teenager, once presented with this situation, would proceed to get blind drunk on the old man’s liquor. Normally.

I’m pretty sure the reference here is that Tony Randall (the actor) was OLD. He would have been ninety at the time this episode aired, ignoring the fact he died in 2004.

The reference here is double. Jack Klugman also starred as Tony Randall’s roommate in The Odd Couple in the 1970s. Jack Klugman was 88 at the time this episode aired and is, in fact, still alive.

Klugman played Oscar Madison, a recently divorced sportswriter for the New York Herald, and was definitely a slob. I haven’d seen the odd couple, so I don’t know if he was a curmudgeon, but in the original play and the subsequent 1968 film, the part of Oscar Madison was played by Walter Matthau, a bona fide curmudgeon.

This is a common meme, and I think a hilarious thing to do to someone who gets Asian characters tattooed on them despite the fact they have no personal connection to anything Asian themselves: you to to a tattoo parlour, ask for something in Japanese or Chinese, and the tattoo artist tattoos something hilarious on you instead. Of course, you, not being able to read the language, thank them kindly, comment on how beautiful their calligraphy is, and pay them.

If anyone can read what Jenna’s tattoo actually says, does it really say “white hooker”? Let me know!

Kenneth looks eerily similar to The Phantom of the Opera or Dracula, skulking around as he does in the episode. You can see his red CBS page jacket under his black hooded cape.

They totally do this! I think this may be a prerequisite for werewolf movies, actually.

Totally a thing! And damn, this sounds good. I may eat one tomorrow.

Looks like Griz is reading Kevin Grisham’s “Urban Fervor”. Kevin Grisham, if you recall, was the fictional writer of Jenna’s movie “The Rural Juror” by the episode of the same name (S01E10), in which they mentioned he was writing “Urban Fervor” as a sequel. I love that they put this in here because you have to PAUSE the thing to even read the book title.

BECUASE IT WAS HIS MOOD RING. SO IT TOLD HIS MOODS. SO HE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT MOOD HAVING IT TAKEN AWAY PUTS HIM IN.

Juuuuust like the hobo said earlier. But the other way around. Weird trend, this.

A prep school is basically private primary school (grades 1-12), expected to be of a higher caliber of education for those who can afford to send their children there.

Jack is implying his son would, of course, be a lawyer. The kind that issue subpoenas.

The masked orgy is a reference to Stanley Kubrick’s Eyes Wide Shut, in which Tom Cruise‘s character ends up at a mysterious masked orgy in a castle run. However, he didn’t run into his son there, which would be incredibly awkward I’m sure.

Italians HAVE been known to stand around in crowds. Though most nationalities have. I think this is some sort of weird non-slur slur.

This is a good point! It’s random crazy Tracy babble, but still! Points! The Hulk is a comic book character who normally is Dr. Bruce Banner who, when he gets mad, turns into a massive green-skinned monster of a man, shredding his clothes as he grows. And for some reason, no matter what Bruce was wearing, the hulk ends up with purple shorts. You’d think Bruce would wise up and just wear spandex.

Dotcom is speaking French. Good on ‘im! Translated, he’s saying “I don’t speak English. Someone must have given you a wrong number. Sorry.”

I LOVE that they use this guy for everything medical! It’s madness! He is, of course, implying he mostly just gets women pregnant. By having sex with them. And impregnating them. By having sex.

An epidural is a procedure commonly performed on pregnant women to ease the pain of childbirth. A doctor will insert a catheter of drugs into the spinal column. It doesn’t go into the spine itself or even the cerebral-spinal fluid, but around it. It numbs feeling and pain. The doctor is not supposed to do this on himself. Like, ever.

NICE! The opening of this is from Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back, where Darth Vader reveals to Luke he’s Luke’s father. What? I ruined that for you? Where the eff have you been for the last 20 years?? They even used very Star Wars-eque music right at the start of this scene. Beautiful;)

There is no County Steve in Ireland. Ha! And goblins are little nasty mischievous creatures that inhabit dark places.

There is also no Sadchester, Massachutches.

Amory Blaine is the protagonist in Scott Fitzgerald’s “Scott Fitzgerald’s This Side of Paradise” and is an attractive Princeton University student who dabbles in literature and has the book’s theme of love warped by greed and status-seeking [stolen directly from Wikipedia].

Usually people get voted “Most likely to succeed,” “Most likely to be pregnant before 17,” or “Most likely to declare themselves Dictator for Life.” Jack… Jack is simply voted “Most.”

Stand-up triple: the most exciting thing that can happen in baseball (aside from cheerleaders — oh wait they don’t have those); the batter hits with bases loaded and only makes it to third. Everyone’s excited! Yaye! Fidel Castro, the former president of Cuba, played baseball as a boy, but probably never with Jack.

“I need a vacation from this vacation.” – VERY difficult to track down the original source. Any takers?

The song “You’re So Vain” was, in fact, written by Carly Simon. Though it would fit with Jack’s persona. Oh wait, that was the joke;)

A katana is a Japanese sword. I want to be raised by a man who thinks the basics are defending yourself against snow leopards in feudal Japan.

Edit Seven Gang? No idea. Can’t find any reference to anything like this.

The Today Show is a daily.. variety.. talk.. ish show… thing. I dunno I never pay attention to it. Apparently the writers think the same way.

The New York Islanders are one of the three NYC hockey teams, along with the New Jersey Devils and the New York Rangers.

Matt Moulson plays center for the NY Islanders. I can’t read hockey stats well enough to know if he’s as bad as Ritchie says. Anyone?

Bob Bourne (who played for the Islanders in the 70s and 80s) actually DOES run an annual Islanders Fantasy Camp. Though Ritchie would have to travel to Kelowna, British Columbia to attend. Which he should. Becuase Kelowna’s gorgeous.

And if you’ve never skated before, skating backwards is almost easier than skating forward. But if you can’t skate backwards, you’re a crap skater.

Civil War reenactment is a big thing. People dress up as Civil War soldiers and reenact battles. As far as I know, they mostly stick to the script. The South still loses.

Smooth bore firearms are basically guns with just a straight pipe-like barrel, usually using a round projectile. After smooth bore, rifling was invented, which is putting spiraling grooves inside the barrel and using a more contemporary bullet-shaped projectile. The grooves spin the bullet which stabilizes it in flight, allowing it to go farther with better accuracy.

The “Death to Lincoln” and Liz’s “Southern gentlemen” tell us Ritchie is on the Southern side of the reenactment, which, in 1861, formed the Confederacy and attempted to secede from the United States. They attacked the North, and over the next four years were beaten to death. The end.

Deck = video editing deck, used to edit together video.

Holy crap, Cash Cab is a real thing. I totally thought they made it up for the show.

Mount Sinai Hospital was founded in 1852 and sits on the northeast border of Central Park in NYC.

Again, Ritchie is on the side of the South in his reenactments, and the entire Civil War started because the South wanted to keep their slaves. Their black slaves.

I dunno what this one’s about. Mickey Rourke (the actor) has played a few big hulking characters recently, and was GOING to play Conan’s father in the new Conan the Barbarian remake, but he was replaced by Ron Perlman. That’s about all I can find.

There’s no such place. There’s a Home Night Club, but it’s not that close to 30 Rock, nor is it near a train station.

Yup. He’s right. 1886. And there was a Centennial in 1986. Ronald Regan was there. No green boobies, though. Though if you watch Ghostbusters 2 you get right up her skirt.

And yes, the New York Mets won the World Series that year.

Centepeding doesn’t mean that, but it may soon.

Shamu is dead. Died in 1971. Seaworld just keeps using the name. Much like the Dread Pirate Roberts.

Sting was the front man for The Police, but has since gone on to have a huge career of his very own. He DID quit The Police and immediately started into jazzy stuff.

Wicked;) Jack, of course, has luxuriously thick hair anyone would want to run their fingers through, and I figured he was going to say, oh, Dove Daily Moisture Shampoo, or maybe Dove Intensive Repair. Nope. Blood.

Grunting nap = sex. I can find no reference but I’m sure of it! Take my word! It’s sex! SEX I TELL YOU!

And Kenneth with the broom, his red page jacket, and his weird garbage bag cape makes him look a lot like Harry Potter off to play quiddich.

Brian Williams is the anchor of NBC Nightly News, along with Andrea Mitchell.

A reference to earlier when Ritchie told Liz he’s a Civil War Reenactor. For the South. That owned slaves. Apparently he’s really into this whole thing. I bet he has a Confederate flag in the window of his basement apartment.

Uhhh that’s because there are no women at these things. You might as well try to find them while LARPing, or Magic: The Gathering tournaments. Actually there are women at those things. Weird, right?

Kenneth is packing a framed photo of Fred Allen, a radio comedian from the 1930s-1950s, signed “To Kenneth, You’re the TOPS! – Fred Allen Feb 21, 1947.” Which means Kenneth is in his seventies?? WTF is going on here? Is this some weird stalking the halls, ghostly, “I have always been here” sort of thing?

He’s packing the photo into a box that reads “NBC Memories 1945 – 1967”.

According to Wikipedia, “here is no clear evidence as to the origin of the Susan part of Lazy Susan,” so Tracy COULD be right! Thomas Jefferson is credited with inventing the Lazy Susan, and he first invented a rotating book stand, which, if mated with Susan, could produce a Lazy Suzan!

This one’s true. I didn’ even have to look this one up because I used to live there. But this I didn’t know: you can be executed for the following reasons: murder, drug offences, rape,  treason, aggravated robbery, terrorism. And the last execution took place there in early 2008. Hmmm… which is Tracy guilty of?

Right again!

Jack is reading from Shel Silverstein’s The Giving Tree, which is a fantastic book and you should read it.

Speaking of which, what the hell?? They have a Latin version of called Arbor Alma. Bizarre.

Shel Silverstein was not a communist.

The shot is of an empty corner of Jack’s office. The scene is very similar to Monty Python’s How Not To Be Seen sketch.

Fully loaded Toyota Tercel does not equal chick magnet. It just doesn’t.

Canada is awesome. No source available.

Unicorns are also awesome. Donna happens to be wearing a purple sweatshirt with a href=”http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000ICA73U?ie=UTF8&tag=wtw0a-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=B000ICA73U”>sparkly unicorn on it, but more importantly go right now and play Robot Unicorn Attack to the pumping 80s of Erasure.

I’m not really sure why this is, but you can’t open a door at the same time someone’s unlocking it. It just kind of gets stuck. The correct procedure is to step away from the door. Just leave it alone. Let the person unlocking it lock it again and then unlock it. Then all should be well. REMAIN CALM.

Yup, Tracy’s referring to his Cash Cab ride, which is indeed on Discovery Channel.

Babies ARE covered in goop when they’re born. It’s called vernix, and it’s supposed to protect them or ease birth or maybe just be gross. Cuz if so good job cuz… it’s gross.

Uhhh.. yeah some people actually believe this crap. NUTTY.

Though giving money to the Catholic Church for favours actually has precedence in the form of indulgences. Yeah that’s right — you used to be able to pre-purchase forgiveness for sins you plan to commit. Good business model.

Ha! When I first heard this I thought he said “Read a Muday Barry book.” Took me forever to figure out he said “Read him a Dave Barry book,” which is way funnier because Dave Barry is apparently a pretty funny author.

Potato chips on sandwiches are delicious and this should be encouraged.