“Everything Sunny All the Time Always”

This is just messed up. Is this supposed to be some kind of Trinidadian slavery nursery rhyme?? I guess it’s not much worse than a lot of our nursery rhymes or fairy tales. A lot of them are twisted and evil but we just don’t notice because they’ve been around since birth.

Take Hansel & Gretel: Cannibalistic witch attempts to fatten and then eat children. They win when they burn her alive instead. I found a nice Top Ten list of gruesome fairy tales you may enjoy.

They love making fun of the doctors! So good. Dr. Jack Kevorkian is best known for publicly championing a terminal patient’s right to die via physician-assisted suicide. He’s known as Dr. Death and has helped over 130 people die. It’s exactly the kind of name you want for your paediatrician.

I also love the expression “put her down.” I don’t know if parents realize that before you have children this universally means “lethal injection.” As in “oh, Sparky got skin cancer, poor thing, so we had to put him down.” Seriously, that’s the only recorded use of “put him down” you ever hear before parents suddenly start using it to mean “tuck my child in for a nap.” Friggin creepy. Just stop using it, please.

Babynomics?? I assume this is a riff on Reaganomics, which Jack and Avery would be all over. Reagonmics, being the economic policies promoted by the U.S. President Ronald Reagan. That would make babynomics the economic policies promoted by… babies? They’re starting early.

I was just talking to friends about this the other day. When I grew up kids were just kids until they started getting into organized sports and music lessons and stuff when they were.. I don’t know.. 7 or 8? Now kids are into this stuff at 2. Swimming lessons, music lessons, gymboree. What the hell, man? At this rate parented will be negligent if they don’t have their fetuses in pre-natal piano lessons.

Ew. I think this is a mix of a couple things. The first is when Howard Hughes got old and went crazy and holed up in his personal theatre and peeing in jars. At least that’s what the movie showed.

The second is from Tina Fey herself. “What?!” say you? “Tina Fey writes episodes of 30 Rock?!” It’s true! One of her lines from her new book Bossypants is how you can tell the difference between the male and female writers. Because although very few of the male writers peed in bottles, none of the female writers did. I’m pretty sure that’s how Frank ended up with his Sun Tea experiment from S04E06 “Sun Tea.”

Ahh Diff’rent Strokes. Much beloved sitcom of 1978-1986. They actually lived in a penthouse, but it was kick-ass. Conrad Bain was the caring dad in Diff’rent Strokes that took in the two black orphans (Gary Coleman and Todd Bridges as Arnold and Willis Jackson). He’s obviously a woman-slapping dick.

Wait. Why was Jenna in the men’s room?

That’s Liz’s best Spanish, which translates to “I started studying…” Well, the rest is just in English.

The Secret is a self-help book by Rhonda Byrne, topping the best-seller charts and being featured on Oprah. Many people call bullshit on The Secret as you can summarize it as “think positively and you will have success!” I dunno, I’ve never read it. Some people thrive on self-help books, as if their natural state is unhappy and unmotivated, and only via a steady stream of people telling them to be happier and more motivated can they reach normalcy. I guess it would be good for them.

Though if you spend all of your time reading positive thinking and motivation books I think you’re missing the point. After you achieve these things you’re supposed to live your life. Stop reading the books now.

I also love he way Jenna pronouncing “secreting.” I actually don’t know if there’s another way to pronounce it, but suh-KREE-ting just reminds me of breast milk or snail slime or some sort of seafloor pituitary organism.

Nice;) I like how you can, with the right inflection, take anything to be either sexual or drug-related. “Hey, ever try purple fish?” Well, now that’s either going to be a type of oddly shaped condom or a type of LSD that makes you crave seafood.

Uh, none of this needs explanation but it’s all hilarious as hell. The third thing while listing stuff? Post-It note on sweater? Heavily enunciated English is Jenna’s version of Spanish? Fantastic;)

Hmm do I need to explain this? Well, okay. I have a lot of foreign readers. But just this once.

Lizbeanism sounds like lesbainism which is super hot woman-on-woman action unless of course we’re talking about flabby couch lesbians that thrive on Häagen-Dazs, cooking shows, and sloth. Less hot.

[Update:] And obvious enough that I missed it, but reader mhd pointed out that yes, “dyke” means both “damn that holds back water” and “lesbian.” Got that? “Lesbian.” God bless ‘em.

Invictus is a short Victorian poem by the English poet William Ernest Henley (1849–1903). Its theme is stoicism in the face of adversity and he wrote it when he was 17 after having his foot amputated. It was also the inspiration for the 2009 film of the same name. And reader Blake pointed out the white guy in Invictus is Matt Damon, who plays Liz’s boyfriend Carol in 30 Rock.

Just in case you’re wondering, “hot feet” and “ask Melissa about it” aren’t inside jokes from 30 Rock. You can stop searching now.

Somewhere is a 2010 movie written and directed by Sophia Coppola. I’ve never heard of it, but it got 72% on RottenTomatoes.com, so that’s not bad! Though she also did Lost in Translation which I hated. That one went absolutely nowhere.

Gross! While Liz is cleaning her apartment she pulls down a light fixture to clean it and the dead bugs inside fall into her mouth. Eww!

Oh these two and their Reagan! They’re even incorporating him into sex. Sick. I mean, Avery’s pretty hot, but could you imagine looking into Reagan’s rubbery floppy face while having sex? Go ahead. Imagine it.

Throwing stars or shuriken are ninja weapons. Every kid has probably made them in shop class or out of cardboard or… well, pretty much anything that you can throw. Who didn’t pretend they were a ninja when they were kid??

Ronald Reagan loved jelly beans and always had a big jar on his desk while President of the United States.

Kim Jong-il is the super crazy dictator of North Korea, aka Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (DPRK), aka “The Hermit Kingdom.” They’re still stubbornly old school communist and subsequently dirt poor and technologically lagging. I’ve also read North Koreans are 3-4” shorter than South Koreans due to insufficient nutrition.

The part of Kim Jong-il is played by Margaret Cho, which is fitting because Kim Jong-il totally looks like a chick. Sort of an ugly butchy lesbian, actually.

Very nice;) Haikus are a Japanese form of poetry consisting of 5 syllables, then 7, then antother 5.

This scene was a little weird. Really short and kind of cheesy in an over-the-top way.

Many North Koreans believe Kim Jong-il has the magical power to control the weather based on his mood. True story.

In 2009, Kim Jong-il did actually capture two American journalists that “illegally” entered the country through China, Euna Lee and Laura Ling, who were working for the US independent cable television network Current TV. Ex-President Bill Clinton has to go over and talk him into releasing the journalists.

And — damn — I’m pretty sure the “she’s much too thin” crack is directly aimed at Monica Lewinsky, the infamous intern who gave Clinton head in the oval office. I’m pretty sure when you’re the “leader of the free world” it should come with perks, but I’m not sure about blow jobs. I mean, I’d like to imagine they flow like tap water, but it probably doesn’t work that way in practice.

Condoleezza Rice was the US Secretary of State under George W. Bush. And yeah, she’s playing herself. I’m impressed she’s got this good a sense of humour!

In S01E08 “The Break Up,” Jack implied he was dating Condi.

Me + U = 🙁

Kenneth was fantastic in this scene. It’s the first time I’m seen him truly annoyed. The withering look he gave Jenna was priceless. What caused this?? He’s normally so endearingly sweet and chipper. I love this new facet.

Horse semen does cause hair to grow, but revoltingly it needs to be ingested. There are amino acids in the semen that stimulate the proto-stem cells in the hair folicles and produce more hair than normal. There are recipes online as to how you can mix it with yogurt or protein powder to make it more palatable.

This whole scene is just bizarre. They decided against having this conversation/realization with Jack or some other character and instead animated a bag to talk to Liz?? Hilarious;)

That’s right. Bags have genitals. Would that mean you can have a bag bag?

K-9 is an abbreviation and homophone of Canine. That’s directly from Wikipedia. “Homophone??” Apparently that’s “a word that is pronounced the same as another word but differs in meaning.” There ya go. Now ya learned something.

Dear Leader (that’s what North Koreans call him) seems to like his American movie mashups. I think the “I defuse bomb, black partner” is a reference to Lethal Weapon 3, where Riggs goes to refuse a bomb with his black partner Murtaugh. “Hasta la vista, baby” is the Terminator’s line from Terminator 2.

And I love that the “American CIA Helicopter” is a car with that stenciled on the side of it.

Kate Hudson is an actress best known for Almost Famous (2000), How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (2003), The Skeleton Key (2005), and Bride Wars (2009).

In 1978 Kim Jong-il captured Shin Sang-ok, a South Korean film director and forced him to create seven films with Jong-il acting as executive producer, including a Gozilla ripoff. I mean, I knew he was crazy, but I figured they were kind of exaggerating in this episode. Not so much. I think they toned him down a bit to make it more believable.

The American journalists Euna Lee and Laura Ling that Kim Jong-il detained were sentenced to 12 years hard labour😉

DMZ = demilitarized zone, the buffer between two enemies mutually agreed to contain no military presence. The North-South Korean DMZ is 250km long, 4km long, and tons of crazy stuff has happened there in the 55+ years it’s been in existence, including tunnel digging and an axe murder. The South Koreans also have badass-looking Samsung automated gun turrets pointing north.

Condi’s assistant is actually played by Condi’s actual assistant, Georgia Godfrey.

Karl Rove was Senior Advisor and Deputy Chief of Staff to former President George W. Bush during the same time Condoleezza Rice was the Secretary of State.

Ever vigilant reader Blake points out this cop is the same cop that appeared in S04E08 “Secret Santa” who busts Frank, Toofer and Lutz after Liz frames them for a bomb threat. He’s the one who says “Are you Al Qaeda?”

American Number 1! It is, actually. I guess that’s what you get when you invent the telephone system. Oh and Canada is number 1 as well. So it’s a North American thing. Don’t you love how I throw Canadian stuff in there all the time? Cuz I’m a Canuck. You’re welcome.

Of course they do. Check out the MyRazor app for the iPhone.

Harry S. Truman.  33rd President of the United States. Dropper of the atomic bomb. Yeah. He was the bomb guy. Duck and cover? Nuclear holocaust? The Road Warrior? Harry S. Truman.

Also, remember the Korean War (1950-1953)? The US kind of lost that one. Also Harry S. Truman.

A real Emmy looks like “a winged woman holding an atom.” A North Korean Emmy looking like an ugly chunk lesbian holding an atom.

Okay to be completely honest I just went out to an 80th birthday celebration and I’m really drunk right now, but this one makes no sense. Sally Ride is a former NASA astronaut and the first American woman to go into space, aboard the Challenger on June 18, 1983. So far not funny. No controversy, no sex with sea life, no religious zealotry, nothing so much as a parking ticket. Her sister is named Karen “Bearful” Ride, who is a Presbyterian minister. Odd nickname, but otherwise not funny. Someone explain this one to me.

[Update:] Sam Adams rightfully pointed out that this is pretty hilarious. Sam Adams is correct. Liz’s effed up rendition of Jack’s earlier Invictus speech is pretty fantastic.

Kim Jong-un is indeed the son of Kim Jong-il. Let’s see how much crazy did he inherit? He’s actually the youngest of three sons. Why is the youngest inheriting the throne? His eldest half-brother, Kim Jong-nam, had been the favorite to succeed, but reportedly fell out of favour after 2001, when he was caught attempting to enter Japan on a fake passport to visit Tokyo Disneyland. It’s not even a good Disneyland. Kim Jong-un is also “exactly like his father” and “is a big drinker and never admits defeat.” Sounds like perfect qualities for a leader for 25 million people.

Nice! The start of this dialogue is from the 1992 movie Glengarry Glen Ross, in which Alec Balwin starred, and did an amazing job. Seriously, I could just watch this scene over and over. Then they go into Star Wars Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (1980 & 2004 Versions, 2-Disc Widescreen Edition) (“Luke, I am your father!”), 1984’s Ghostbusters, and back into the “black partner” of the 4 Lethal Weapon films.