“Chain Reaction of Mental Anguish”

I shouldn’t even have to explain this, but “opportunity is knocking” means keep your eyes out for opportunities when they present themselves. It’s a stupid joke. However, I know all of you are begging for that t-shirt so you can try that joke yourself, so here it is. There’s also a selection of other odd t-shirts I’ve made as well as some subtly awesome Star Wars t-shirts. Just go buy one.

Donald was introduced in S03E21 “Mamma Mia,” pulling the same kind of scammy shenanigans, like the Tracy Jordan Institute for Black Karate.

There are something like a hundred restaurants in Times Square, lots of which are themed, like the Bubba Gump Shrimp Co., a smattering of classic diners, the Hard Rock Cafe, Mars 2112, not to mention the ethnically themed restaurants.

NASCAR is the national sport of rednecks everywhere. They race cars. But sadly they don’t really have a Fat Load Cafe. Maybe they can get take out from Fatty Fat’s Sandwich Ranch, as featured in S04E03 “Stone Mountain.”

Okay, I don’t speak Spanish, but I think I got it all. It would translate to: “Uh, Mister Mexico, uh, yeah, yeah, I am Don, yes. Go on, go on? Up, up?”

“¡Ándale! ¡Ándale! ¡Arriba! ¡Arriba!” is the catchphrase of Speedy Gonzales, a racist caricature of a mouse featured in Looney Toons cartoons. Cuz he’s fast. And his catchphrase basiclly means “let’s go! Really fast!”

Dan & Jennifer tell us this is a real thing. You can supposedly talk your partner to orgasm using topics that turn them on to no end. In Jenna’s case, this would be looking at herself and having someone completely obsessed and focused on her. That would be Paul. And in Paul’s case, being Jenna and making her happy would be his.

I figured this roller skating restaurant has been referenced before and I didn’t remember, but nope! Can’t find any mention of it in past episodes. However, I did find this tidbit implying that Liz may be impersonated by a famous Boston drag queen in an upcoming episode! That’s fun, right?

Ahhh the classic tape-yourself-having-sex-then-pretend-it-got-out ploy! As popularized by Rob Lowe in 1998 and Paris Hilton in 2003 (hilariously named “1 Night in Paris”).

The shark quote is a twisted reference to a line from the 1977 film “Annie Hall”: “A relationship, I think, is like a shark. You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.”

Liz may be referring to when her “junk closed for business,” from S05E05 “Reaganing.” Or just her general sex hang ups from the same episode.

Jack refers to “curly-haired men and people who need glasses” twice in this episode as weak and simpering men. I imagine it’s just a general stereotype, especially people who need glasses. I mean, talk about weak. But it reminds me of the most sensitive man in the world from movie Bedazzled (with the delicious Elizabeth Hurley).

Staples is a giant office supply chain. And their slogan is “Yeah, we’ve got that.”

Okay, this is only barely related, but the oldest company in the world was Kongō Gumi, a Japanese construction company founded in 578 A.D. It operated continuously for over 1,400 years. That’s insane. They specialized in building temples. It was purchased by another company in 2006. How can you do that!? How can you sell the oldest company in the world? For shame!

Medieval Times is a theme restaurant with nine North American locations. It’s a castle-restaurant thing where you sit around a huge dirt arena and they put on medieval-style games, sword-fighting, and jousting followed by a tournament, and they serve you a “medieval feast.” The Excalibur Hotel in Las Vegas also puts on a show called the Tournament of Kings which is very similar.

Godzilla is the archetypal giant rampaging monster, created by man’s prideful folly, and the name is a romanization of the original Japanese name “Gojira” — which is a combination of two Japanese words: gorira (ゴリラ) ‘gorilla’ and kujira (鯨, くじら) ‘whale’. So.. GORILLA-WHALE! RAAAWR!

And this is how the stereotypical Japanese monster movie starts, with a creature created as a result of man’s over-reaching science and rising up from the sea to destroy Tokyo. In fact, in the original 1954 movie, Godzilla was created by a nuclear explosion.

Mechagodzilla first appeared in the 1974 movie Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla.

Carol was first introduced as Liz’s boyfriend in S04E22 “I Do I Do,”, but I think this is the first time they’ve mentioned his last name. Burnett. So his full name would be… Carol Burnett. It was bad enough he had a girl’s first name, now it seems he has the exact same name as Carol Burnett, actress, comedienne, singer, dancer, writer, and star of her own 1967-1978 Carol Burnett Show. That’s just weird.

Hmmm! Cross-dressing journalism major, huh? Tricky. I’m going for the 1985 movie Just One of the Guys where a girl plays a guy to win a journalism contest. Liz Lemon was born in 1970, making her around 15-17 during high school, which would be 1985-1987. Brilliant!

Her dad tried to cheat on her mom earlier this season, in S05E06: “Gentlemen’s Intermission.” Spoiler: he failed.

I was about to gloss over this one, but I realized most people under 20 would have no idea what a CB radio is. It stands for citizen’s band radio, came about in 1945, and has 40 channels in the 27-MHz band. It’s basically open to anyone who wants to use it, and before this crazy Internet thing it was pretty big. It was a wide-open public communications channel anyone could use as long as you bought a CB radio. Kinda like the Internet. Except you can use it while driving, which is why it’s still popular with semi truck drivers. And weird hobbyists.

There is no Schuylkill Galleria, but Liz’s fictional mall is probably takes it name from the Schuylkill River which runs through Philadelphia, about 2 hours from White Haven, Pennsylvania, Liz’s home town.

Jimmy Carter was the 39th President of the United States, in office from 1977-1981, which would make wee Liz (again, born in 1970), between 7 and 11 years old. Although with time has been considered one of the more successful presidents, after he left office he was considered a failure.

Revolting. I found a recipe for it. Fill your boots. It’s supposed to be all gourmet an stuff, but I’m sure it’s still revolting.

Liz hates eggs? Ah! This sounds so familiar but I can’t find any reference to her hating eggs. Especially because she eats everything.

Ironic, as Jane Krakowski was raised in Parsippany, New Jersey, which is a suburb of New York City.

And big stars often sing at benefit concerts to raise money for disaster relief.

For some reason I couldn’t stop laughing at this line. It reminds me of a similar scene from the cartoon The Venture Brothers S02E06 “Victor. Echo. November.” I couldn’t find a clip anywhere on the net so I actually uploaded it to YouTube for all you netizens. You’re welcome. I expect YouTube will yank it due to copyright infringement within the day.

What? You haven’t seen The Venture Brothers?? Go! Buy! Watch!!

Microsoft is of course a massive software company. With lawyers. Lots of lawyers. Don’t eff with them.

This one reminds me of the scene in the movie Raising Arizona when Gale and Evelle Snoats forget little Nathan Jr. on the roof of the car and take off driving down the highway. I love that movie.

I always thought the brainpan was sort of the lower part of the skull the the brain sits on. Like.. a pan. For the brain. Turns out it just means “cranium,” i.e. basically the whole damn skull.

My aunt had a runny nose for the longest time that turned out to be a hole in the bottom of her brainpan that was leaking into her sinuses. So they had to cut in there and plug the whole. I always imagined they used chewing gum for this. True story.

I can’t find any link between Kenneth and anyone named Cheryl. There do seem to be a disproportionate number of passing references to non-character Cheryl’s in 30 Rock, though. They seem to use that name a lot when referring to someone in the past or someone’s girlfriend you never meet. Weird.

Barney Fife (played by Don Knotts) was a high-strung, bumbling deputy sheriff in 1960-1968 TV comedy The Andy Griffith Show, which was set in small town North Carolina.

Horrible. But funny.

I can’t find anything about pig eating contests or rules for the same, but I did find a recipe for Cured, Rolled Pig Face. Yes, it’s just what it sounds like. You can thank me later.

And… Kenneth once ate an entire witch?! I love that;)

I love when they poke fun at their own network. Accoridng to Neilsen ratings, NBC was the 4th place network the week this episode aired.

I imagine this is what ageing lesbians do in their golden years. Yes, that was meant to evoke images of The Golden Girls as lesbians.

I can’t find such a thing. However, if any owners of Japanese sex resorts that treat white people like slaves want me to link to their resorts, send me the info!

That is just freaky weird.

Just in case anyone missed what he was talking about, Donald had walked behind him and was in the background of the frame so Tracy had — literally — turned his back on him when he turned to talk to Jack. They seem to like silly obvious physical comedy for these two.

Arizona State University is in Phoenix, Arizona, and is the largest public research university in the US. It’s also ranked firmly in the middle of the pack. You can’t be too proud of your kid going to Arizona State. “Oh Marjorie, I can’t wait till little Tony grows up and goes to a painfully average school. Hopefully he’ll graduate in 4.8 years and make exactly the national average! We’d be so passionately unperturbed about the whole thing!”

Jack’s bang-on. That’s exactly what a protein’s all about. And I love the bit about the Communists. The Second Red Scare was 1947-1957 and Jack was born in 1959 (determined from his 50th birthday in S03E16 “Apollo, Apollo”), a little after rampant anti-Communism was over, but early enough to cling to some of those bigotries.

I think Donald is functionally retarded. American Airlines is, of course, the world’s second-largest passenger airline. They also have lawyers.

“What a world!” really sounds like a quote from something, especially the way she said it, but I can’t find anything. Any ideas?

Theatre tech are the technicians: everything except the actors, directors, playwrights, choreographers, etc. So we’re talking about set design, costumes, lighting, stagehands, stage managers, and people of that ilk. The word “ilk” doesn’t get used enough.

“Damn you, Godzilla!” is actually a line from the Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla. Nice one, obscure 30 Rock writer quote finder!