“¡Qué Sorpresa!”

Sketch-Tron 6000 is back? Right on! We first saw Mr. 6000 in S01E03 “Blind Date” where Frank was directing him to kick a bear in the knees. Except he didn’t have a name yet.

And I can find no mention of Tracy’s Atlantean “Sironicon.” How will we ever find out where the dinosaurs came from? Oh I know! The Creation Museum, where they explain how the earth really is only 6,000 years old, and has dioramas of humans co-existing peacefully with dinosaurs! Mill Maher also did a hilarious bit on this museum in his movie Religulous.

Nice gift bags! They seem to have received:

• 2 Apple MacBook Airs at $950 – $1750 each
• 1?? expensive-looking watch
• 2… MP3 players? I can’t figure out what these are or what brand.
• 1 Kabletown Zip Hoodie. Yes, you can buy one from the NBC store.

Nephew. Why does this sound familiar. Oh yes, in S05E11 “Mrs. Donaghy,” we meet Angie’s meth addict nephew Michael. Angie is married to Tracy, making Michael Tracy’s nephew as well. So Jenna took Tracy’s meth addict nephew Michael’s virginity. Tracy may have other nephews, but this is the reality I prefer to live in.

“Nerves!” How deliciously archaic! Like when women used to be diagnosed with “hysteria” (prescription: vibrators!) or people used to die of “consumption.”

Michael Kors is an __American women’s__ fashion designer. That’s an American who designs women’s fashion, not a designer specifically for American women. You’d think it would be quicker for me to just re-word that first sentence that write up this explanation, wouldn’t you? You’d be wrong.

And he doesn’t seem to own a horse, gay or otherwise.

I just love this line;) Warwickshire Abbey: not a real place. But seahorses! Seahorses are real. And the male seahorses actually carry the eggs until they hatch. And they’re fish! I wasn’t sure until I looked it up, and it kind of makes sense now that you think about it, but seahorses are actually fish. There. You learned something today.

Nice work on the accents! And someone did their research. Felipe Calderón is the president of Mecixo, Wen Jiabao is the premier of China, and they do say “mon” a lot in Jamica.

Negril is a tiny (pop: 3000), spread out tourist town on the very western tip of Jamaica. It looks gorgeous.

Liz is still dating Carol?? We haven’t seen him since S05E04 “Live Show.”

A DVR is a Digital Video Revoder, also knows as a Personal Video Recorder (PVR), most famously the TiVo. They first appeared in 1998 at the Consumer Electronics Show, by ReplayTV and TiVo. I can’t find who specifically invented them, so I can’t rule out “Carlos.”

That green stuff is tomalley. It’s the green crap inside of lobsters that some people (#gag#) eat (#hack!#). God I get all queasy thinking about that stuff. It’s actually the (#gak#) hepatopancreas (combo liver/pancreas) of the lobster. Okay if you want to know more go read about it yourself. I’m going to go throw up a little.

I’m guessing a Pradar is a knock-off of Prada. Hey look, you can buy almost the same one here! It’s missing the big floppy flower and extraneous zipper, but what you can expect from cheap Chinese knock-offs?

Yeah that’s a breast pump. Specifically it’s a Lansinoh Manual Breast Pump. You’re happy I found that for you, aren’t you?

You’ll also note Avery is wearing a fetching wizard’s clock complete with little golden stars and moons on the collar.

Okay so originally I thought “happiness crisis” meant everyone was too happy, but then realized “happiness crisis” is more like “water crisis”, i.e. “happiness shortage,” which makes more sense coming from Kenneth. Kenneth’s rube upbringing would teach him happy women are uneducated subservient women. Like the salad days of the 1930s.

Bee Dubs = Brian Williams. Okay, okay, you figured that out for yourself. Nice work. They probably used it, though, becuase Bee Dubs sounds like “Vee Dubs” which is slang for Volkswagen cars.

And Frank is wearing a Toxic Avenger t-shirt! Fantastic. It’s a 1984 movie about a picked-on nerd who gets turned into a disgusting Hulk-like superhero and takes his revenge!

Oh my. Liz probably has either menorrhagia (excessive but regular menstruation) or menometrorrhagia (excessive and irregular menstruation). Either one sounds unpleasant and may explain why we haven’t heard from Carol in awhile.

Emoticons are little characters in a message to indicate mood. Like this;)

I don’t remember Jack firing a man on his death bed. Oh wait, was that Jack firing a man who was dying, or Jack firing a man while Geiss was on his death bed? Either way, I still don’t remember it happening. Which means either I forgot or it didn’t happen. Anyone?

Again, like last episode, this has got to refer to Judah Friedlander’s book How to Beat Up Anybody: An Instructional and Inspirational Karate Book by the World Champion. I wonder why this keeps getting in there. I like it!

A sharp-brained reader pointed out that the bit where Kenneth points to himself is just one of many bizarre hints throughout 30 Rock that Kenneth is somehow extremely old. Or maybe immortal. Or a vampire. Note in this episode when he says “the elderly” and points to himself.

The Wikipedia site on Kenneth’s age is fascinating. Go read!

Tom Cruise said he was going to eat the placenta and umbilical cord of his unborn child, carried by Katie Holmes. One would hope he would do this after the child was born. He was kidding, but the fact so many took him seriously either says something about how weird Cruise kept getting or how sensationalist the world has become. Or a lot of both.

Some people do eat the placenta, but it’s not as widespread as anyone imagines.

Naan is delicious! I’ve been on a bread-making kick recently. I have to try making naan.

Six Sigma is a very Jack-like statistical management technique originally developed by Motorola in 1981.

These don’t actually exist yet! I could have sworn they did. There are a bunch of super-crappy looking add-ons that give you voice control for your TV, but I’m sure they’re as stellar as I just made them out to be.

They could totally do this. Scientists, I mean. All the technology is there. Some cell phones have extra microphones that pick up the ambient noise so they can cancel it out. Speakerphones do the same thing. They know what sounds they’re making so they can filter them out and listen to you. TVs could do the exact same thing, without the comical side-effects.

The TV show messing up the TV is Law & Order: Special Victims Unit which started way back in 1999.

Ha! You had to be quick to catch this. It’s because “Keeping Up With The Kardashians” is crap. Get it? Because Jack said “crap.” The Kardashians are famous because one of the sisters, Kim Kardashian is famous for… well no one’s quite sure. These talent-free celebrities are a side-effect of the intellect-free reality TV movement.

I love this scene. Liz’s answers are wicked funny.

Weird. When you Google “Hitler” the FIRST thing that comes up is “Adolf Hitler!” How convenient. He was born on April 20, 1889.

Because there’s a war between blondes and brunettes. Or maybe it’s blondes vs. the rest of the hair colours. Hopefully they televise it. I’d watch that.

Wow. I thought this would be a line from some twisted movie or book. Nope! Go 30 Rock writers! That’s messed up;)

There is a Popcorn Palace, but it’s in Illinois. There are a few gourmet popcorn shops in NYC like Garrett Gourmet Popcorn and Dave and Thomas Popcorn in NJ, but I can’t find anything on 11th.

That’s because Kenneth grew up in Stone Mountain, GA, a little backwater farming/coal mining town where that sort of thing may happen.

Nice! Krav Maga (Hebrew: קרב מגע “hand-to-hand combat”) is one of the most efficient martial arts in the world, mostly because it was designed to be that way. Many martial arts have deep tradition or a self-defense slant. Krav Maga was created in the 1930s for the Israeli Defence Forces to disable an opponent as quickly as possible.

Circe is a minor Greek goddess most famous for messing with Odysseus’ crew in Homer’s The Odyssey by turning them into animals that Odysseus had to free.

Yakov Smirnov is a Ukranian actor/comedian of Jewish descent. He was big in the 80s and known for lines like:

In America, you drive car.

In Soviet Russia, car drive you.

He now has a theatre in Branson, Missouri where he performs year-round.

Apparently the Eastern Blue Groper is the friendliest fish in the sea. There you go. Mystery over. In his defense, Hank didn’t have access to the Internet right then. One day we’ll all have chips in our head and we’ll be able to Google things on the spot. One day.

Quid pro quo (from the Latin meaning “this for that”) is often used to mean “a favor for a favor,” “what for what,” “give and take,” “tit for tat,” “this for that,” and “you scratch my back, and I’ll scratch yours.”

You do not want to be a hurricane reporter.

The perineum is the region on a man between the base of the penis and the anus. Also known as the “taint” or the “choda.” I wouldn’t use those last two around children. Or the elderly.

Nunchuks are NINJA WEAPONS! Well, I like to think so. They were originally peasant weapons, adapted from the flail, which is a farming implement.

Tracy may have also been talking about the G.I. Joe character. Yes, he may have had a pair of them. I like to think maybe he tied their heads together with a length of string and used them as nunchucks.

Almost identical to the cover of Janet Jackson’s 1993 album “janet.”

Sex and the City is a 1998-2004 TV series set in Manhattan. Mr. Big was the love interest for the main character, Carrie Bradshaw. Also funny: Carrie was obsessed with fashion. Liz is obsessed with food.

Sounds like he’s talking about V, the TV series where human-looking “visitors” come to earth but secretly want to… kill us… or… steal and eat out mice… or something. There were two series, the original 1983 series or the new 2009 series.