30 Rock S05E01: "The Fabian Strategy"

Synopsis

Jack interferes with Liz's relationship with her boyfriend Carol, and Liz gets him back by doing the same to him and Avery. Tracy missed Kenneth something fierce. Jenna becomes a producer.

Episode Details

Episode
S05E01 (501)
First aired
23-Sep-2010
Transcript
View full dialogue
Writer
Tina Fey
Director
Beth McCarthy Miller
Frank's Hat
Why., Bottom Feeder
0:00
Liz
[phone rings, waking up Liz] No, Tom Jones, no! [Liz answers]
Jack
Lemon, it’s Jack.
Liz
Whoo Jackie…
Jack
Oh Lemon, Avery and I just got back from the most amazing vacation on Paul Allen’s yacht.

Tom Jones is a fantastic Welsh singer. I love him and so should you. Liz has NO reason to tell him no. No reason at all!

Paul Allen co-founded Microsoft will Bill Gates and made assloads of money off the whole thing. He used part of it to buy a yacht. There are yachts and there are yachts. This is the latter. The Octopus secured its position as one of the world’s largest yachts in 2003, and is equipped with two helicopters, two submarines, a swimming pool, a music studio and a basketball court.

0:28
Jack
Avery is the most perfect woman ever created. Like a young Bo Derek, stuffed with a Barry Goldwater.

Bo Derek is a model/actress who rose to fame in her early twenties (she’s in her mid-fifties now), so it’s a bit of a weird, dated, reference, especially as Jack is referring to Avery, played by the 36 year old Elizabeth Banks. Whatever, Bo Derek was super hot in her day.

Barry Goldwater was also pretty good looking (see this picture of him with a younger Ronald Regan), but I think that was back in the early 1800′s. The man died in 1998. Jack’s probably rolling him in there because however, as far as I can tell, was never hot. Instead he was nicknamed “Mr. Conservative” and was the Republican party’s presidential nominee in the 1964 US election. In a weird and probably unrelated coincidence, Barry was known to collect hundreds of Kachina dolls, similar to Jack’s collection of cookie jars from S02E03 “The Collection”.

0:36
Liz
You sound weird. Do you have a beard?
Jack
Not for long. It’s back to reality. No more making love on the beach surrounded by a privacy circle of English trained butlers. But I’ve got to get out of island mode and back into work mode. How was your summer?
Liz
Get this – my gynecologist committed suicide.
Jack
And I’m back. [hangs up]

Said butlers even have a guild. A privacy circle would be the opposite of a circle jerk (you can look that one up yourselves), with the butlers standing in a circle with their backs to the couple making love in the sand. I can neither confirm nor deny this as a service provided by English trained butlers. but they’re known to be a discreet lot.

0:57
Liz
[phone rings, Liz answers] Carol.
Carol
Hey Lizzie, I’m about to take off. I’m in Lambert-St. Louis. And I can see the arch from here. No wait, that’s a half burnt down McDonald’s.
Liz
Oh.
Carol
Anyway, weather’s great and I just have to go St. Louis, Newark, Newark, Atlantic City, Atlantic City to Newark and then I’ll be there.
Liz
Who flies Newark to Atlantic City?
Carol
Black bachelorette parties. Gotta go. [hangs up]

Lambert-St. Louis refers to the international airport. There are actually five McDonald’s restaurants close enough to possibly be seen from the Lambert-St. Louis runway. The St. Louis->Newark->Atlantic City->Newark trip would actuallylook like this. By car anyway. Google Maps doesn’t yet give a “by plane” set of directions. As for the black bachelorette parties… I’m not really sure on that one. If anyone wants to figure that out in the comments I’ll put it in!

1:23
Liz
[phone rings, Liz answers] Hello.
Tracy
Yo, I’m calling to say that I’m giving you a hundred and ten percent this year. I’m realized, I’m focused, and I’m gonna be churning out the good stuff like you’ve never seen.
Liz
That’s great, Tracy.
Tracy
Oh, I mis-dialed, I thought I was calling my nutritionist. Goodbye. [hangs up]
Liz
Ok, Season Five, here we go.

Shark slippers. Tracy’s wearing friggin shark slippers. I love them.

And when Liz says “Season Five, here we go,” it’s actually season five of 30 Rock! Oh my! It’s a whole world of double meaning!

2:03
Jack
What about office supplies, do you think you can come down five percent there?
Pete
I’ll try. We’re already printing all of our internal memos on the back of my kids’ art.

The art in question is one of Pete’s children chopping him in the neck with an axe while simultaneously running him through with a sword.

2:11
Jack
In order for this merger to stay attractive to our friends at Kabletown we have to seem like a sexy and profitable company and we’re almost pulling it off. The Harry Potter theme park is a huge hit with both anglophiles and pedophiles, the movie division has a James Cameron movie the whole world will see whether they like it or not. Only NBC continues to be the engorged whitehead on the otherwise flawless face of Universal Media. Lemon, why are you spending so much money on wigs?
Liz
Tracy’s head size keeps changing.

The Wizarding World of Harry Potter is a real place! It’s at Universal Studios Orlando and I want to go. Please send money.
Anglophile: one who is fond of English culture, a reference to Harry Potter’s English setting.

Pedophile: one who is fond of children’s nethers, a reference to the number of wee ones running about in Harry Potter land, which would make a pedophile’s feel that he’s stumbled upon a NAMBLA-run Honeydukes.

The James Cameron reference speaks to the fact James Cameron’s recent movies (specifically Titanic and Avatar) have been massive budget sensory extravaganzas you just HAVE to see, but leave you wanting. His earlier films (The Terminator , Terminator 2 , The Abyss , and even True Lies ) were much better.

Universal Media Studios was named so in 2007, prior to which it was NBC Universal Television Studio. Universal Media Studios produces a number of shows for NBC and it’s subdivision, Universal Cable Productions, produces some shows for the SyFy (WHY did you change your name??) and USA networks.
As for the “Tracy’s head size keeps changing,” I see a lot of people listing this as a good quote for this episode, but I didn’t think it was funny. However, my friends Christine & Alex went on the NBC tour, and were told that everyone that hosts Saturday Night Live has a life cast made of their head so makeup and can work on the cast while the actor works on the skits. However, they have to make a new cast if the actor changes too much, and in the fifteen times Alec Baldwin has hosted Saturday Night Live (sharing the title of most frequent host with Steve Martin), they’ve had to make eight different casts of his head.

2:43
Jack
Hang on, what is this pay increase for Jenna?
Pete
Oh boy. Look, as we enter the 5th season of TGS — and remember no one ever thought we’d make it this far –
Liz
I believed in us.
Jack
And that was actually an oversight.

Actually NBC, unlike Fox, doesn’t cancel a ton of really good shows. I looked up all the shows NBC has cancelled since 1998, and there were only a handful I cared about, and most of those had probably had a good run by the time they went. So… good on ya, NBC!

2:52
Pete
— Jenna has some crazy stuff built into her contract that kicks in now.
Liz
Like what?
Pete
Eye contact. Everyone must make eye contact with Miss. Maroney at all times. She also gets a producer credit.
Liz
What?
Jack
Oh it’s just a vanity credit, Lemon. A low cost way to make someone feel more important. Like executive producer Ashton Kutcher or Secretary of State Hillary Clinton.
Jenna
Am I late for the producers’ meeting? [Liz and Pete look down.] Eye contact. [They look up. Jenna turns to Jack. Jack looks directly at her.] Thank you.

Pete has printed Jenna’s contract on another piece of his kids’ art. This one depicts Pete being chewed in half by a shark.
Ashton Kutcher’s actually been the producer on eighteen things! Amazing. He’s actually a pretty savvy guy when it comes to business, self-promotion, and the cutting edge of entertainment. The joke here is Ashton Kutcher’s comes off as a mimbo, so his Executive Producer credit must be hollow. Also funny is that Alec Baldin is actually listed as a producer on half of the 30 Rock episodes.

For Hillary Clinton, seeing as she ran against President Obama when he won the 2008 election and he then appointed her Secretary of State, they’re implying it was a pretty title to give her as a consolation prize.
Jenna’s wearing a pink shirt with rhinestones spelling out Business Slut.

Jack, with his piercing blue eyes as he makes eye contact with Jenna (3:21), looks just like a wolf.

3:22
Tracy
Hey K.K.K.K! First day back’s gonna be a busy one. First, I need you to go to the dry cleaners for me and find out how Martinizing works. I’ve always been curious. Then, I need you to be back by noon to make the bathroom smell like sandalwood before I wreck it. You got that, K-Pax-of-gum?

I’m guessing K.K.K.K. stands for Klu Klux Klan Kenneth, a reference to his home town of Stone Mountain, Georgia, the birthday place of the second Klu Klux Klan.

Martinizing Dry Cleaning, is a company and their original form of dry cleaningwhich revolutionized the industry when Henry Martin, in 1949, invented a non-flammable dry cleaning solvent so clothes could be cleaned on-site.

Sandalwood is a distinctive smelling wood used in religious and fragrant purposes. Tracy plans to ruin it with feces.

K-Pax was a not terribly good movie starring Kevin Spacey.

3:55
Jack
So how are things with Carol?
Liz
Good. Did you know that if you’re a pilot, that Chilis will seat you right away even if the pilot’s dinner companion has just been yelling at the hostess?
Jack
You are the Jackie O of our time.

I have no way to confirm nor deny this Chilli’s thing. Pilots, please try this and sound off in the comments.

Jackie O refers to Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, wife of former United States President John F. Kennedy, and was known as a social and fashion icon, much in the same way that Liz Lemon is not.

4:07
Liz
And pilot’s get all these travel points at Starwind hotels. The one in midtown has free Internet.

There is no such hotel chain, but interestingly, NBC’s rival CBS actually offers free wireless in midtown!

A much more NY-savvy reader than I points out there is a *Starwood* hotel chain, which has 35 hotels in NYC alone!

4:44
Liz
Ooh, she wants to redecorate? She just moved in.
Jack
Avery, uh, has opinions. I love her for that. Unfortunately, she wants to repaint the upstairs hallway in a strie faux finish called Husk. I prefer the color that’s already there. A reddish brown shade called Elk Tongue.

A “strie faux-finish” is a technique to give a wall a subtle striped texturing, making the wall look like a linen or fabric wallpaper. There is no strie faux finish called “Husk”, but there is of course a color by that name. But not one called “Elk Tongue.” I sense a marketing opportunity.

5:00
Jack
This is how I know you’ve never had an adult relationship. If I say no, then I will be required to say yes to something else in the future and the stakes in the future might be higher.
Liz
Then say yes.
Jack
If I give in, I’m no longer the Alpha in my house. Before you know it, she’ll have me wearing jeans and reading fiction.

Alpha meaning Alpha Male, like the leader of a wolf pack. Again with the wolves, Jackie.

Wearing jeans and reading fiction? I’m sure it’s some sort of characterization of a man with particular political leanings that Jack is against, but figuring out exactly what this is will be left to my commenters.

5:16
Liz
Yeah well, yes and no are kind of your only two choices.
Jack
For most men, sure. But there is a third option
Liz
I know this

Liz is actually messing up the popular account of Gallileo dropping balls of different weights off the Leaning Tower of Pisa to prove that they would fall at the same rate regardless of mass, disproving Aristotle’s theory that their rate of descent was tied directly to their weight.

5:27
Jack
The Fabian Strategy derives it’s name from the Roman general Quintus Fabius Maximus. He ran away Lemon, rather than engage in battle, he would retreat and retreat until the enemy grew fatigued and eventually made a mistake. Though I abhor it as a military strategy, it is the basis for all my, uh, personal relationships.

Mostly true. Quintus Fabius Maximus Verrucosus Cunctator was a Roman politician and general and, when confronted with the superior Carthaginian army, used something similar to guerrilla attacks and a scorched earth policy to keep from confronting the Carthaginian army directly and saved Rome from crippling defeat. His nickname was “The Delayer.”

6:26
Jenna
Grace, your position has been terminated. Effective immediately.
Grace
But… I’ve been here since the Jack Paar Show!
Jenna
Your health insurance will remain in effect until the end… of this sentence. C’mon. Chop chop. [gives Pete a big thumbs up]
Grace
What a shit job.

In 1956 Jack Paar hosted a disc jockey effort, The Jack Paar Show, on ABC. Paar once described this show as “so modest we did it from the basement rumpus room of our house in Bronxville.” (Directly from Wikipedia)

And yeah.. I’m pretty sure the old woman said “shit.” How did that get through the censors?

I hear tell out there on the intertubes that the closed captioning says “shank job”. That’s not even a thing. That’s some crap they cobbled together to get “shit job” past the censors. GO 30 ROCK!

6:46
Tracy
Kenneth! I knew you’d come back! Lemme smell your head.
Liz
C’mon! This is a woman’s blazer from a very expensive blazer shop called Rico’s.

This gets explained later. Move along.

There is a clothing chain called Chico’s in Glendale (just east of Manhattan).

6:55
Tracy
I’m sorry, but my heart is playing tricks on my eyes, just like my kidneys did to my lungs that time.

Random Tracy craziness. No references.

7:02
Tracy
I keep hallucinating Kenneth. Am I going crazy again? Should I get my rainbow wig out of storage?

Also random. No references. I figure I’ll put stuff in even if there’s NO reference to save people from hunting all over the place to see if there IS a reference. There. I did it for you. There isn’t.

7:07
Liz
No, Tracy, it’s normal. Kenneth was very special to you and now he’s gone. The next time you hallucinate. The next time you hallucinate just tell yourself “This is not real. I am in control of this.”
Tracy
Like the World Cup. I’ll try.

Also no reference. Tracy just says crazy shit.

7:41
Frank
Liz. Get in on this. Would you rather.. have to start every sentence you say for the rest of your life with Urkel’s catchphrase “did I do that?” [in a nasaly Urkel tone] OR be Siamese twins with Sharon Stone for a year.

Referring of course to Steve Urkel, from the old TV show Family Matters. Urkel was also referenced in S01E01 “Pilot”. He had a habit of doing jackass things and then saying that whiny “did I do that?” phrase.

Sharon Stone is an actress. A pretty hot one at that.

8:00
Frank
So. Carol. Did you ever join the mile high club?
Carol
Try five miles high, and no, I have not.

Five miles would be 26,400 feet, much closer to the average commercial airliner cruising altitude of 30,000 – 40,000 feet.

8:07
Toofer
Did you ever see a UFO up there?
Carol
Uh, no, but once while I was in the Air Force I saw Mr. T in a Pizza Hut.

No references to Mr. T and Pizza Huts. There’s a prank call some guy make to Pappa John’s using a soundboard of Mr. T, but it’s not funny enough to even link to.

8:13
Toofer
Was the Air Force like Top Gun?
Carol
Yeah, but with a lot more volleyball.

Top Gun was a movie about the Air Force starring Tom Cruise. The volleyball scene in Top Gun is pretty homo-erotic. Just watch it.

8:16
Frank
You ever kill anyone?
Carol
Sucked a mechanic into my engine once.

This has actually happened. More than once.

8:19
Lutz
Are you on Facebook? [to Carol]

Facebook is the immensely populate social networking site. You’re probably on it now. Playing Farmville.

Oh and Lutz is gay.

8:50
Liz
I just can’t believe that every Starwinds suite in the city is taken.
Carol
Me neither. Lady said they’re all booked up for something called “Jackfest.”

There is actually a band called Jackfest. And according to Urban Dictionary, Jackfest is one of:

  1. A situation where way too many people are doing nothing and getting in the way and there is a lot of waiting around.
  2. A situation where everyone is raining praise on each other.

Both of which are funny. None of which is a real reference here, as Jack just made it up. Oops! Spoiler.


9:18
Liz
Carol and I enjoy our separate just intersecting lifestyles. It’s perfect. I’m like that woman on the food network whose husband only comes home on the weekends and she spends the rest of her time eating and drinking with her gay friends.
Jack
Her name is the Barefoot Contessa, Lemon, and you will never be like her, starting with the barefoot part.

The Food Network is a TV network dedicated to… wait for it… food. Jack is, as always, correct — the Barefoot Contessa is the show, and the Barefoot Contessa herself is none other than Ina Garten. She cooks incredibly delicious things, most of them made using an entire pound of butter. She is married to Jeffrey Garten, former Dean of and currently a professor at the Yale School of Management.

9:42
Kenneth
Welcome to the Late Show with David Letterman. Please have your tickets out. And now, as with all studio audiences, we will sort you according to attractiveness. Front. Front. Back. Balcony. Front. Front.

The Late Show with David Letterman is a CBS network late night talk show hosted by — yes, David Letterman, and has been on since 1983.

30 Rockefeller Plaza and the 1697 Broadway, where the Late Show with David Letterman is filmed, are only about four blocks apart.
I’m not sure if they actually sort studio audiences by attractiveness, but I like to imagine they do.

10:10
Carol
Stop, wait, no. The Barefoot Contessa. I love this show.
Liz
Me too! This is one of the three things in the world I like
Carol
…when Muppets present at awards shows?

Again, Ina Garten = The Barefoot Contessa = cooking show personality.

The Muppets are a diverse set of puppets created by Jim Henson, and have indeed presented awards!

10:22
Liz
We really see eye to eye on a lot of stuff, don’t we?
Carol
Absolutely. I’ve never met anyone before who had the exact same idea as me about what to do with Palestine.
Liz
It would work, right?
Carol
Of course it would work.

Hilarious! Sadly, it wouldn’t work. Nothing seems to. They refer to the ongoing Middle Eastern conflict between Israel, the so-called Palestine region, and the neighbouring Arab states.

10:31
Liz
And don’t you agree that our situation is perfect right now? We have these great visits together but then we still have our separate lives. We’re like Geoffrey and Ina.
Carol
[sobbing] No, no, I can’t — I can’t live like this anymore! I’m not like Geoffrey Garten. I’m not as strong as that guy. I need to know where this relationship is going, and I can feel you resisting it.

Another reference to Ina Garten and her husband Geoffrey. Ina, on her show The Barefoot Contessa, often mentions that her husband is away a lot, and he appears on the show often when is he home.

11:43
Jack
[phone rings, Jack answers] Hello?
Liz
Thanks! Carol had a complete meltdown about the state of our relationship. I can’t believe I tried to clean my bathtub for this!
Jack
This is healthy, Lemon. Where is Carol now?
Liz
I finally got him to sleep. I had to spoon him for like an hour and I was the OUTER spoon!

Spooning is when you lie with someone, both facing the same direction, curled into each other. This shouldn’t be news to you, but if it is, go find someone to try it with. I highly recommend it.

12:00
Jack
Welcome to adulthood. As for me I have successfully retreated for another day. When Avery got home from work I noticed that she had some paint samples in her purse, so I immediately asked her if her sister had done anything crazy lately and guess what — she had. Avery talked about that for an hour, her anger eventually transforming into some rather… interesting sex and now she’s sleeping peacefully, while Fabius has retreated to his den where he is drinking scotch and playing Snood.

Snood is an addictive puzzle video game.

Jack, getting cocky with his apparent victory, is calling himself Fabius, as per his earlier-explained Fabian Strategy.

12:26
Liz
Does Avery’s work email go right to her phone?
Jack
Why?
Liz
Nothing. Just sending her a link to this cool site
Jack
Oh Lemon don’t! She keeps her Blackberry in bed with her!
Liz
And.. send.

Site does not exist. Don’t bother.

Blackberries, fitting Avery’s all-business persona, are business-oriented smartphones.

13:29
Jack
Every new pattern Avery showed me, I would simply say “yes, I like that one too,” and she was so overwhelmed with the choices that she made a mistake — she suggested that we consult her old college friend who’s an interior designer.
Liz
Uh huh?
Jack
He’s coming here to meet with me today. His name is James. Not Jim. Not Jimmy. Jamesssss. [lisping]

Jack is implying James is gay. Apparently gay people lisp. Actually, some of them do. I’ve never figured out of gay people actually speak that way and naturally suppress it if they’re trying to hide being gay (I seriously doubt it), or it’s an affectation put on when they want everyone to know they’re gay.

13:51
Jack
She’s sending her army into unknown territory. And I am flanking her… with these. [points to his eyes] Have you seen my eyes, Lemon?
Liz
Yep, they’re very blue. Like a Mykonos sky.
Jack
Mark Foley once called them “piercing.”

Mykonos is a beautiful Greek island and yes, has skies similar to the colour of Jack’s eyes.

Mark Foley was a US Congressman who flirted with teenaged male pages. Doesn’t the Internet suck, Mark Foley? That’s not going away. So Jack’s reference is that gay men would like his eyes.

14:06
Jack
Avery has really made a misstep here. Do you know what a prize I am in the gay community? There’s a term for it. I’m a Bear and I’m a Daddy. I’m a Daddy Bear. Just one hour with flirty chatting with James and you know what I’ll get?
Liz
Not a Glad Award, I know that.

True and true! For a gay man, a bear is a heavy-set hairy man, and a daddy is an older man with sexual interest in a younger man. Daddy bear. There are no major specifically “daddy bear” references out there, but I’m sure this episode will vault them into prominence in the gay community.

And, directly from Wikipedia: the GLAAD Media Awards were created in 1990 by the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) to “recognize and honor media for their fair, accurate and inclusive representations of the lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) community and the issues that affect their lives.” So Jack’s planned gay performance to further his own petty decorating whims would give him… whatever the opposite of a GLAAD award is.

14:43
Jack
I know it’s difficult, Lemon, but now you have an adult decision to make. Would you rather let go of your precious autonomy and let Carol into your life, OR would you rather teach your cat to dial 9-1-1?

Another joke about Liz turning into a Crazy Cat Lady.

14:55
Liz
First of all, I’m tired of playing Would You Rather, and second of all, you know that I have Life Alert.
Liz
Oh. I pushed it. I need a phone!

Life Alert exists and works like Liz’s: press the button to summon help, wherever you are. They were vaulted to fame years ago by commercials in which an older woman would fall to the floor and call out “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!” Oh my. Looks like they’re still using that catchphrase.

16:07
Kenneth
But I’m real happy here at CBS. They gave me a tote bag. With The Mentalist on it!
Tracy
I guess this goodbye. Obviously I’m going to need the tote bag.

The Mentalist is a CBS network police procedural show that debuted in 2008.

17:00
Jenna
I think I found a way to get the budget down to where Jack wants it.
Pete
That’s my girl! You are el fuego!

Pete is drinking a beer called “Cerveza” which is just Spanish for “beer.” However, the bottle and label look almost identical to Corona.

“El fuego” means “the fire” in Spanish. Pete’s head is clearly somewhere in Mexico.

17:30
Jenna
As great as I am at this I’m not really necessary. Hmm.. the last time I said that I was in a three way with two of the Backstreet Boys.

The Backstreet Boys are a “boy band” formed in 1993, and rose to prominence over the next seven years, to thankfully fall from relevance from then on. Jenna is implying they’re narcissistic and homosexual. I’m not going to argue.

17:59
Frank
Hey Liz. Would you rather –
Liz
Och…

Frank is wearing a “SPiN New York” t-shirt, from a table tennis social club in the Flatiron District.

18:14
Liz
[to Carol] I thought you left.
Carol
I came back. Uhhh.. I mean I had to kick an obese teen off the flight to get a seat, but I- I really wanted to talk to you. Look, I’m not sorry you saw me cry — I’m an emotional guy. That’s actually not even a part of my personality, that’s just something that happens to people that change altitude more than four times a day.

Probably a reference to both Kevin Smith being kicked off a Southwest Airlines flight for being too fat, and a subsequent thin woman being kicked off a Southwest flight because the teen beside her was obese enough to need two seats. Southwest Airlines was appropriately embarrassed over both incidents.

Heightened emotional state due to multiple altitude changes? I don’t think that’s a thing.

18:31
Liz
Is that also why you got so mad when you were watching the Giants game?
Carol
No. That was because why does Geico have three different spokespeople? They have the caveman, the lizard, and then the stack of money with the eyeballs.
Liz
And the fake Rod Serling guy!
Carol
Oh my God! Right, thank you.

The New York Giants are New York City’s football team.

Geico is an auto insurance company, and they do indeed have multiple mascots. Rod Serling was best known as the narrator for The Twilight Zone (the original), and he does look a lot like Mike McGlone, the one Liz is referring to. For instance in Geico’s Wabbits commercial.

19:03
Carol
All right, let’s each say one thing about ourselves that the other person doesn’t know on the count of three. All right? Ready? One… two… three.
Carol
Touched by a priest — it’s fine. [simultaneously with Liz]
Liz
I’m on a waiting list to adopt a kid.
Liz & Carol
Wait, what?

Carol is referring to the ongoing scandals of priests molesting boys. Which apparently didn’t happen until the 80′s. And then had been happening for probably hundreds of years once uncovered. Funny how you don’t hear widespread reports of other religious figures molesting children. Maybe it has something to do with weird rites like abstinence. Everyone knows abstinence doesn’t work.

19:13
Liz
O- okay. That was a step!
Carol
Yeah. [Liz & Carol high five]
Liz
See you October fourteenth!

October 14 should be the air date of S05E04, i.e.: 3 episodes in the future. We’ll see if that pans out!

19:21
P.A.
[Cast for “Would You Rather”, set yourselves please.]

Looks like all of the “Would You Rather” games being played this episode were working toward a Would You Rather skit being shown on TGS.

19:27
Jack
I never thought you’d make it this far, Lemon.
Liz
I know. Season Five, we were supposed to get cancelled…

This is the second reference this show to potentially being cancelled. I can’t find anything on the Internet implying the show was ever about to be cancelled.

19:32
Jack
Not just the show. I mean you. You’re in an “adult dude” situation. You’re wearing a beautiful blazer from Rico’s Husky Boy collection.
Liz
Is that what Raggazi Robusti means?

Yup. That’s pretty much what it means.

19:45
Liz
Thank you, Jack. And I’m glad that you’re getting to keep your wall Elk Tongue.
Jack
Actually, no. The fabulous James and I came up with an excellent idea. We’re taking that wall down. That way we can make the master bedroom closet bigger and gain a nice architectural symmetry.
Liz
Hmmm. You think maybe that’s what Avery wanted all along?
Jack
Oh my God! Hannibal defeated Fabian with a decoy army — James was a plant! The strie wall finish was a decoy — she Hanniballed my Fabian! Lemon! Avery and I are perfect together, like… whiskey and hunting. Soul mate doesn’t even begin to do it justice.

Hannibal DID lay a trap for the Roman armies, all but wiping them out, but at the time the Roman people had revolted against Fabian’s apparent cowardice and a Marcus Minucius had seized power and charged the Roman army into Hannibal’s trap. It was Fabian that saved Minucius, who admitted he was the lesser strategist and passed the reins back to Fabian.

20:37
Kenneth
Good night, Miss Maroney. Good night, Mr. Jordan. Good night, TGS band with your funny smelling dressing room. Good night, bear. Good night, Moon… Song Park, from accounting. Good night, Miss Lemon. Good night, Mr. Doneghy. I lied to Mr. Jordan. I miss you all so much.

Kenneth’s dialog is reminiscent of Margaret Wise Brown’s children’s classic Goodnight Moon, where a little rabbit (Kenneth) says good night to everything in his room. They even added the “Good night, Moon… Song Park” as a more overt reference.

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67 Responses to 30 Rock S05E01: "The Fabian Strategy"

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