30 Rock S05E10: "Christmas Attack Zone"

Synopsis

Jack struggles with his family over Christmas dinner. Jenna struggles with her recent split with Paul. Tracy struggles with seriousness.

Episode Details

Episode
S05E010 (510)
First aired
9-Dec-2010
Transcript
View full dialogue
Writer
Tracey Wigfield
Director
John Riggi
Frank's Hat
(none)
0:00
Liz
Merry Christmas Eve Eve, Jack.
Jack
Likewise, Lemon. Is there any chance you’ll still be around tomorrow?
Liz
Sure. You wanna go to the Penn Station K-Mart with me and then watch Tootsie?

Pennsylvania Station is a major train station in NYC, and the Penn Station K-Mart she’s referring to is actually across the street from Penn Station in One Penn Plaza.

K-Mart does have cafeterias. They’re called K-Cafes and they’re… not good. They’ve basically transplanted the cafeteria from your local old folks’ home into a department store. Rating: AVOID.

0:09
Jack
I’m sorry, that’s what you’re doing instead of spending Christmas Eve with your family?
Liz
It’s my new thing. Travel ON Christmas Day. That way I avoid the annual Lemon Family Blow Up. And this year it’s going to be a doozy. My Aunt Linda is bringing her new boyfriend who is neither her age nor her race, and her ex-husband will also be there with his date “alcoholism.” I swoop in the next day for presents and pie.

Aunt Linda’s back! She was introduced last episode (S05E09: “Chain Reaction of Mental Anguish”) as Liz’s crazy divorcee aunt that made revolting spaghetti carbonara that caused Liz, who eats everything, to stop eating eggs.

0:31
Jack
Well if you’re around, come by for dinner. Colleen will be up from Florida and, uh, she’d love to see you.
Liz
Because my youthful energy makes her feel young?
Jack
Uh, no. Because she views you as a peer she can complain with about how no one wears pantyhose any longer.
Liz
Ugh! How are we supposed to conceal our spider veins? Bare-legged Christmas.

Pantyhose sales are down! How do these 30 Rock writers know everything??

0:49
Liz
Okay guys, this Kabletown promo is the last thing we have to do before the holiday break.

This is the ongoing story of Kabletown buying NBC, network of TGS, paralleling the real-world Comcast buying NBC, network of 30 Rock.

0:54
Tracy
Liz Lemon, I cannot participate in this promo.
Liz
Why?
Tracy
Because it’s not honest! As an actor it is my job to tell the truth, hold the mirror to humanity, and sell Proactiv. I will not spout your lies, Liz Lemon, and I will not say Merry Christmas from Kabletown.

Proactiv is anti-acne medication hawked by celebrities. In fact, as of today the Proactiv home page is plastered with the faces of Katy Perry, Mandy Moore, Julianne Hough, Avril Lavigne,  and Justin Bieber. Crazy! Apparently you have to be a pop star to sell zit cream.

1:14
Pete
Every since Tracy got nominated for a Golden Globe he thinks he’s Sean Penn.
Liz
Well, they have both had screaming fights with Wyclef Jean. We’ll just do this without him. Merry Christmas, Jenna! You can say BOTH lines.

Tracy was nominated for a Golden Globe three episodes ago in S05E07 “Brooklyn Without Limits” for his dramatic movie Hard to Watch, which first won acclaim in 30 Rock in S05E06 “Gentlemen’s Intermission”.

Sean Penn is an actor/director known for his political and social activism. In 2010, after a major earthquake devastated Haiti, Sean Penn pitched in and ended up having a hissy fit all over Wyclef Jean (born in Haiti and member of the once-band Fugees), who hissied back all over Sean Penn. It was silly.

The “Merry Christmas, Jenna! You can say BOTH lines” bit refers to Jenna’s narcissism. What could be better than having the spotlight all to herself?

1:35
Jenna
[hands Liz invitation]
Liz
[reads it] “Tom Ford and Elton John invited you to New Queer’s Eve.” What is this?
Jenna
NQE is THE New Year’s party. Everyone dresses up as a cultural figure from the past year. Also, replicas of The David urinate vodka.

Tom Ford is an openly gay fashion designer. Sir Elton Hercules John is an openly gay singer. And combined they make one Goober of a good party!

There are lots of gay New Year’s parties out there. Apparently Rio’s a big destination. And check the pictures! You can’t tell me that isn’t appealing, boys.

The David is the absolutely incredible 17’ tall marble statue carved by Michelangelo around 1500. I’ve actually seen this thing. It’s in Florence in this weird nondescript museum and I don’t remember a thing that was in there except David. It’s amazing. You just wander around it in awe. And I’m sure it doesn’t urinate vodka. It didn’t when I was watching it.

There was a ice-carved David that urinated Stolichnaya, and I’m sure that’s where this line came from. In 2001, Dennis Kozlowski, then CEO of Tyco International, threw a $2 million birthday party for his wife under the guide of a shareholder meeting where said icy David peed vodka. He’s obviously doing 25 years in jail right now.

2:33
Jack
Uh, what Christmas card did we end up sending out?
Avery
Oh, uh, mmm. [reads card] “Happy Holidays… is what terrorists say. Merry Christmas. Avery and Jack.”
Jack
[nods approval]

Ahhh the Christian Right. So a set of people recently have decided that saying Happy Holidays, a phrase which has been around for a long time, is an attack on Christianity and the American Way of Life. This from the country where the founding fathers, while noble and just, mostly weren’t religious and specifically tried to create a government free of religious influence. Which, by the way, is not the opposite of “moral” or “good.” I swear, America is becoming more xenophobic and aggressive by the day.

3:00
Liz
Anyway, I was going to bring dessert tomorrow, so are there any foods that are making you nauseous lately? [crosses both fingers] Please don’t say a half sleeve of Oreos.

A standard-sized package of Oreos contains 36 cookies. Three sleeves to a packages equals 12 cookies per sleeve. Nabisco tells us there are 160 calories per “serving” of three cookies, so 3 x 4 = 640 calories per sleeve = 320 calories per half-sleeve. Okay that was only vaguely relevant. Liz is of course implying her dessert-making skills are limited to bringing Oreos. The Oreos she hasn’t yet eaten. Like, a sixth of a package.

3:24
Liz
[gasps] You haven’t told Colleen about the baby yet!
Avery
What?!
Liz
I’ve been watching The Mentalist a lot lately because my TV’s on CBS and I lost my remote. I think I’ve become a body language expert. For instance, I can now tell that Jack wants to kill the person to his right. [notices she’s to Jack’s right]

Kenneth got a tote bag from The Mentalist during his brief stint working at CBS in S05E01 “The Fabian Strategy.”  The Mentalist is a CBS network police procedural show that debuted in 2008.

3:44
Jack
I just haven’t found the right time.
Avery
[at the same time as Liz] That is no excuse! This is her granddaughter that we are-
Liz
[at the same time as Avery] This is so bad! You can’t just not tell her that your girlfriend-
Jack
I can’t have the two of you on the same side of an argument. We Donaghys believe that when there’s something at all delicate to talk about it is best to suppress it. Until it erupts at a fistfight at a church barbecue.

Holy crap it’s hard to understand these two when they talk at the same time. I think the writers do this on purpose to make it difficult to type up dialogue.

Jack mentioned this before in S03E22 “Kidney Now!”: The Donaghys do not talk.  We let things fester until they erupt in inappropriate anger.  Preferable during a wedding or elementary school graduation.

4:24
Kenneth
Sir, this came for you.
Tracy
Thanks, K-L-M-N-O-P. I’ve been waiting for this

I’m not sure why they think Tracy thinking up really stupid nicknames for Kenneth is so funny. I mean, I’m sure there’s a ton of funny nicknames for Kenneth. And on the other hand there’s the nicknames Tracy thinks up for Kenneth.

4:31
Kenneth
Oh, I didn’t know you made another Chunks movie, Mr. Jordan. [chuckles] That first one was a classic.
Tracy
[in Chunks as pastor] Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to celebrate the life of Althea Chunk.
Tracy
[in Chunks as Althea Chunk in coffin] [farts]
Tracy
[in Chunks as pastor] Damn! That’s funky!

This is similar to one of the first Tracy Jordan movies every mentioned (S01E01 “Pilot”), Honky Grandma be Trippin’ (a reference to Big Momma’s House), in which Tracy played an old fat white woman.

But this one’s specifically referencing the Eddie Murphy movie Nutty Professor II – The Klumps, stongly implying there was a first “The Chunks.” I’m going to go out on a limb and assume that one would have been based on The Nutty Professor.

4:44
Kenneth
Obesity is killing the African American community… with laughter!

And with death! Eat now and win obesity! With that comes a 50-100 percent increase in chance of death from all causes!

4:53
Kenneth
Why wouldn’t you want people to see your movie? It looks so funny.
Tracy
That’s the problem, Ken. It’s sixty-seven minutes of me acting like hilarious fool. If this movie comes out before the Golden Globes it’ll ruin my new image.

This actually happened to Eddie Murphy, which a lot of Tracy’s character seems to be based on. He was up for an Oscar for his 2006 performance in Dreamgirls (78% on Rotten Tomatoes), but his subsequent 2007 movie Norbit (EIGHT percent on Rotten Tomatoes) was so bad it ruined his chances. It starred Eddie Murphy in multiple roles, including an obese woman.

5:06
Kenneth
Mr. Jordan, I thought you LOVED acting like a fool.
Tracy
No I don’t. I’m lying! My favourite thing in the world is making people laugh, but I can’t now! I had to go on Charlie Rose, Kenneth. Charlie Rose!
Kenneth
That’s horrible!
Tracy
I have no choice! I gotta stay serious. From now on the only movies Tracy Jordan makes are about the Holocaust, Georgia O’Keefe, or both!

Charlie Rose hosts a show called… Charlie Rose on PBS. A very serious show that they film with just Charlie Rose and the guest. The studio’s so empty that the cameras are robotic. I’m not kidding.

Georgia O’Keefe is a famous American artist.

5:32
Colleen
I didn’t care much for the gazpacho soup. I mean, where’s the fun of sending it back because it isn’t hot?

Gazpacho recipe! Gazpacho is a Spanish tomato-based soup that’s served cold.

5:41
Jack
Mother?
Colleen
Yes?
Jack
Avery and I are having a baby.
Colleen
I see.
Jack
May I remind you this is good news.
Colleen
This is a DISGRACE! What are my chums at the Death Shore Retirement Community going to say when I tell them that my unmarried son has knocked up a Protestant!?

I just love the name of the retirement home;)

6:18
Jack
Oh, oh, Colleen, don’t talk to me about secrets. I know some things that you’ve done that you would not want me to bring up right now.
Colleen
Most people thought I was a hero for killing Lydia’s parrot. I’m going upstairs now and think about more comments… for tomorrow.

I can’t find any reference to the parrot thing, so I’m going to assume that Jack was talking about the big secret: Milton, the father Colleen hid from Jack all his life. Colleen, not knowing Jack knows about this yet, assumed Jack was talking about the other secret. The parrot secret. Weird.

6:41
Jack
[dials phone]
Milton
Jack! Guess what? They just got caller ID in Vermont.

Vermont is one of the smallest States in area, population, and GDP. They’re making fun of how small it is. YOU’RE VERY SMALL, VERMONT!

6:49
Jack
Milton, I hope you don’t have plans for tomorrow. I’m having a little Christmas dinner and I want you to be my guest of honor.
Milton
Well, it is a little sudden, but yes, I’d love to come to your holiday dinner.
Jack
Christmas! It’s Christmas dinner.

Fight him, Jack! He’ll strip the Christian out of it if you let him!

7:04
Paul
Hey Rick, can you cover section three for me? I’m in the weeds. Oh, Liz! I’m sorry, I thought you were a transvestite.

I had never heard of this phrase. Apparently it’s diner lingo for “swamped” or “too many orders.” Among my favourite other diner lingo terms are: cow paste (butter), hemorrhage (ketchup), Irish turkey (corned beef and cabbage), and looseners (prunes).

7:46
Drag Queen
You can’t be on the floor without your roller skates, Rick.
Liz
I’m not Rick!
Liz
[watches a transvestite that looks uncannily like her skate away]

Rick is played by Boston’s reigning drag queen Joe Posa, who is doing a damn fine Liz.

8:30
Jack
[buzzer rings] Oh, that must be dad.
Liz
Wait, does Milton know that Colleen is here?
Jack
No. I want it all to be fresh. Will he erupt with anger over her years of secrecy? Who knows. Milton’s a hippie pacifist, but I once saw Colleen provoke a Buddhist monk into whipping a battery at her.

Buddhist monks embrace non-violence. So much so they got kicked out of their own country. That’s pretty damn non-violent. Only Pure Evil could drive a monk to snap and whip a battery (a battery of all things!) at a person.

And a reader pointed out this is the second time they’ve mentioned throwing a battery! Is that a thing? In S04E15 Don Geiss, America, and Hope Jack throws a battery at Liz for bashing Boston.

8:49
Milton
My boy! [kisses Jack’s cheek] This is going to be the best Winter’s Eve Light Festival ever! Liz! [hugs Liz] And a happy whatever-you-believe-in, too.

There he goes again. De-Christianing Christmas. Hippie pagan! Although the hippie pagans actually owned the season to begin with. It originally was the celebration of winter solstice, but when the Christians were taking over pagan lands, they knew they needed to convert them and kill off their existing beliefs, so they declared Jesus was born… right on top of the winter solstice celebrations.

9:03
Jack
Uh, yes. It’s true. You’re going to be a grandfather.
Milton
Oh, what a blessing! [hugs Jack and Liz] Oh, life is beautiful. Joy, beautiful spark of the Gods, daughter of Elysium.

Wow, how did they dredge this one up? Excellent use of pagan babbling to establish Milton as a fruitbat, though.

Elysium or the Elysian Fields is a part of the Greek underworld where heroic souls go after death. No connection yet, but stay with me. Pagans eventually adopted the word Elysium to mean “paradise,” and in Friedrich Schiller’s “Ode To Joy,” ”Joy” is the “daughter of Elysium.”

9:17
Milton
And Liz, you’re already showing.
Liz
No, it’s not me! And that is not what he has to tell you. Colleen is here and Jack is using you to ambush her.
Milton
Why would you do that?
Jack
I’ll tell you why. Because when my mother found out about your granddaughter-
Milton
It’s a girl! She’ll be intuitive!

Women are traditionally considered more intuitive and men more logical. I have nothing to back this up.

9:31
Jack
Colleen did not see it as a blessing. She saw it as an embarrassment because my girlfriend Avery and I are not married.
Milton
An embarrassment? She has no right to judge you. She need to read my new book, “There Is No Wrong Way To Make A Family.” [hands Jack book] That’s for you.

The full cover reads “There Is No Wrong Way To Make A Family: by Milton Greene. Bestselling Author of From Peanut to President.” The cover sports a woman in a burka, a blonde woman in a suit, a black kid in a wheelchair, and… a witch. In S03E22 “Kidney Now!” Milton said he’d write this book if he survived. He obviously got his kidney.

10:16
Milton
By the way, we have a tradition in my family where we let the child name itself.
Avery
Oh, yeah, that’s hippie nonsense.
Jack
Absolutely not.
Milton
Well, suit yourself, but my son Spider-Man turned out just fine.

According to Yahoo Answers, this should not be done. I have a new nephew, and before he was born his two year old brother came up with a name for him: Silver Green Beans. Sadly, that’s not the name he ended up with.

10:40
Liz
I’m going to tell Colleen what’s happening while you all calm down. Where’s her room?
Jack
[points]
Liz
[leaves]
Jack
[whispers] Don’t worry. I sent her to the east wing. It’s very confusing. It was designed my M. C. Escher.
Liz
[from another room] These stairs are weird.

M. C. Escher (1898-1972) was a Dutch graphic artist, known for his renderings of impossible architecture and fascinating patterns. Liz is probably thinking of his Relativity drawing, which features a bizarre room with stairs and walls in every direction.

10:58
Kenneth
What are you doing here, sir? I wasn’t setting this up because I’m spending Christmas at work. I certainly wasn’t going to pretend those trash cans were my parents. [points to trash cans with faces on them]
Tracy
I’m here picking up a serious outfit from wardrobe for my event later.
Dotcom
All the big actors do charity work on Christmas eve. Russell Crowe is having an auction to benefit the victims of his own mood swings.

Ha! Totally true. Mr. Crowe’s known for his outbursts. He has a specific section on his Wikipedia entry for Altercations. And Wikipedia missed one! When Crowe was filming Mystery, Alaska in Canmore, Alberta, Canada, he got in a bar fight. Some say he provoked some construction workers. Others say the locals were giving him a hard time about not being able to skate. I’ve heard this from a few sources and I live an hour from there, so it’s gotta be true!

11:25
Kenneth
I hate seeing you like this, sir. And you ruined Ludachristmas.
Tracy
[flashback] In the Darfur region, the dead may be the lucky ones. Next slide.

Ludachristmas! First mentioned in S02E09 “Ludachristmas,” It’s the kind of Christmas you want to have. Happiness! Madness! LUDACHRISTMAS!

Contrasted strongly with Darfur, the Sudanese region torn apart with civil war since 2003.

11:36
Tracy
What else can I do, Kenneth? People only take you seriously if you’re serious.
Kenneth
But comedy is just as important as drama. People need to laugh, especially in these tough times. And after all, isn’t laughter the best medicine? Except for insulin, Spironolactone, and Bupropion, which I have for you whenever you’re ready, sir.

Fantastic;)

  • Insulin: used by diabetics to regulate their blood-sugar levels.
  • Spironolactone: used primarily to treat heart failure, ascites in patients with liver disease, low-renin hypertension, hypokalemia, secondary hyperaldosteronism (such as occurs with hepatic cirrhosis), and Conn’s syndrome. I’m not going to pretend I know what much of that means.
  • Bupropion aka Wellbutrin, Zyban, Voxra, Budeprion, or Aplenzin: antidepressant and anti-smoking medication.

11:56
Jack
Mother, you look lovely.
Colleen
I see you brought the bag… that my bastard grandchild will come in.

I just love this line;) NASTY!

12:03
Avery
Merry Christmas, Mrs. Donaghy. My gift to you is the feeling of superiority you’ll have for the next two seconds.
Colleen
Is she drunk, Jack? Because you know, when you’re pregnant, one bottle of wine a day and that’s it!

Common wisdom says any amount of alcohol during pregnancy is a bad idea. Although the British (surprise) recently did a study and determined that light drinking during pregnancy is actually better for your baby than abstinence. “Light drinking” is less than 3 to 6 British units of alcohol per week or more than 3 to 5 units on a single occasion. A bottle of wine contains 9 British units of alcohol. So… Yeah a bottle a day is too much;)

12:21
Colleen
Why would you bring him here? Oh I see! Trying to make me look like the bad guy, is that is?
Milton
You ARE the bad guy! You kept me from my son for fifty years!
Colleen
You didn’t miss much!
Milton
He’s a good boy! He got me a kidney… from Elvis Costello. All that time lost because of you and your pride. And think of what I’ve lost. Going on Father and Son Habitat for Humanity builds, and road trips in my VW van.

Ah! In S03E22 “Kidney Now!” Milton needed a kidney but they never tell you whose kidney he got. Now we know.

And I had a VW van! It was my grandfather’s. I loved that van. If you were driving around, anyone in the fold-down bed in the rear fell asleep almost instantly because you were sleeping right above the rumbling motor. It also may have been the exhaust seeping into the back of the van.

13:13
Jenna
[flips through photo album]
Jenna
[looks at photos labelled “Central Park With The Swans,Summer 2010”] [gasps]

The photos Jenna flipped through are:

  • Jenna & Paul
  • Jenna & Paul holding hands
  • Jenna & Paul dressed as Jenna
  • “…2010” Jenna & Paul dressed as Jenna
  • “PAUL KISSING MY GOOD SIDE” Jenna & Jenna-Paul kissing
  • Jenna & Jenna-Paul kissing
  • “ME,PAUL AND BEN ROETHLISBERGER IN CAPE MAY” all in a hot tub. Roethlisberger is a quarterback for the Pittsburgh Steelers.”
  • “PART CHER PART ME” Jenna & Paul dresses as half Cher, half Jenna. That’s just creepy.
  • “Central Park With The Swans,Summer 2010” Jenna with Paul tied to a tree, all laughing, with swans behind them.
  • “PAUL AND ME AT CLUB MOLECULE” Paul (dressed as half Cher, half Jenna?) and Jenna

14:19
Tracy
Ladies of the battered women’s shelter, please be quiet, a man is talking! You’re about to watch a film that holds a mirror up to your own terrible lives. You’re going to see poverty, drug abuse, and a bunch of babies having a hammer fight in a dumpster.

I tried to find a video of a really good hammer fight for you, but all I can find are inflatable hammer fights. Nowhere near as bad ass. But still kinda funny.

I also found Tracy’s use of overbearing and misogynistic yelling at battered women to get their attention to be pretty funny. I think that makes me a bad person.

Also, Tracy’s blinged out, over-sized, gold and diamond-encrusted necklace reading “POVERTY” is hilarious.

15:40
Milton
[looking at Colleen] Oh my God.
Colleen
My arm… is numb!

One of the first signs of a heart attack. Sort of. Pain actually shoots down your arm. So it’s kind of the opposite. You’d think that she’s be pretty familiar with the symptoms from living in the Death Shore Retirement Community.

15:44
Jack
What are you doing now, mother?
Colleen
I think… the stress…
Jack
Don’t go to her!
Avery
[to Colleen] Do you have shortness of breath? Are you sweating? Do you have neck or jaw pain? [to everyone] I had a couple rich men die on top me.
Colleen
It’s like something… like my son… sitting on my chest!

Also heart attack symptoms!

16:14
Milton
We have to call an ambulance! Listen to me, dammit, I’m a doctor!
Jack
Of history! In what emergency would you be necessary? If someone wanted to know whether the sixties were awesome or not?
Milton
They were!

I also love this line! Made me laugh out loud. Cuz it’s funny;)

16:38
Jenna
Paul! My ex-lover.
Paul
Listen, I- I’m not here because I want to get back together.
Jenna
Good. Me neither. Can I get you a cup of coffee, or an absinthe enema?

Fahk. Absinthe is a very strong herbal spirit with psychoactive properties, famously abused by famous people. And yes, rectal cocktails are a real thing. Apparently you get drunk faster and need less alcohol to get there. I get drunk fast enough without having to resort to non-mouth orifices. Though you can do it with peyote, too…

16:50
Paul
No, thank you, I- I can’t stay. I just wanted to let you know that I had an amazing idea for a couple’s costume.
Jenna
Well so did I! What’s yours?
Paul
Well maybe we should just say them at the same time and see what happens.
Jenna
[simultaneously with Paul] You dress as Natalie Portman from the movie Black Swan and I dress and former Pittsburgh Steelers wide receiver and Pennsylvania gubernatorial nominee Lynn Swann! We’re two black swans!
Paul
[simultaneously with Jenna] I dress as Natalie Portman from the movie Black Swan and you dress and former Pittsburgh Steelers wide receiver and Pennsylvania gubernatorial nominee Lynn Swann! We’re two black swans!

Natalie Portman stars in the movie Black Swan, which isn’t out until January 11, 2011. Wow. PRE-topical. And Lynn Swann is indeed all those things.

Who the hell thought up the word gubernatorial?? That’s awful. How can you not think “goober” every time you hear that??

17:16
Milton
Well, it is a Druid Solstice miracle that it wasn’t a heart attack.
Jack
Yes, I do believe a heart is required.

Milton the Pagan is referring to the Druids celebrating the solstices, in particular the winter solstice right around Christmas. This year the winter solstice is on December 21. Before this date the days keep getting shorter. After this date the days start getting longer.

18:44
Jack
[smiles]
Colleen
What are you smiling at you fruitcake?
Jack
Just my mom and dad… yelling at me. Together. Milton, the Clinton boom years were just an after effect of Reaganomics, and mother, you cannot invite ANYONE… to the wedding.
Colleen
[simultaneously with Milton] What happened to the heart attack?! Boy, I knew you’d only hold back for so long. I’ll invite anybody I want to this wedding. To this wedding or any other wedding. Maybe I’ll invite Lydia Perkins’ parrot! Oh, I forgot, I killed her parrot.
Milton
[simultaneously with Colleen] Let me tell you about this talk about Reaganomics, no you insult your own intelligence! Lemme tell you something, what you sound like. You sound like a typical capitalist pig. A capitalist that you were… You are a war criminal. I know, I hate to say it…
Liz
[mouths to Jack] Merry Christmas. [leaves]

Heh.. reference back to the weird parrot comment again.

And do you know how hard it is to figure out what people are saying when two people are talking at once and there’s singing?? Hard.

19:00
Paul & Jenna
[duet starts during Colleen & Milton’s rant] O holy night! The stars are brightly shining, it is the night of the dear Saviour’s birth. Long lay the world in sin and darkness pining, ’til He appeared and the soul felt his worth. [holding hands]
Paul & Jenna
[cuts to women’s shelter crowd watching Chunks 2] A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices, for yonder breaks a new and glorious morn. [Tracy, Kenneth, Dotcom, and Griz laughing]
Paul & Jenna
[cuts to Liz getting on a bus] Fall on your knees! O hear the angels’ voices! [Liz looks at passenger with parrot on his shoulder] O night divine…
Paul & Jenna
[cuts to Jack smiling while Colleen and Milton yell at him] O night when Christ was born.
Paul & Jenna
O night divine, O night when Christ was born.

They sang O Holy Night really beautifully here.

It’s very close to the traditional lyrics, but not quite. I’m sure they modified it slightly to fit better with the cuts, and it works really well.

And there’s a parrot again. This time Liz gets it.

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21 Responses to 30 Rock S05E10: "Christmas Attack Zone"

  1. Andreas says:

    Thank you for the write up. I really loved this episode.

  2. Elza says:

    Thank you for your trivia =)
    As a French, I didn't understand all the lines (plus, I didn't have the subtitles yet !) and all the references ^^
    But your amazing work help me so much !

    • WtwAdmin says:

      Well I'm happy it helped! If there's anything you think needs more explanation just let me know. I started this site recently and I'm still trying to figure out how much to explain, so your feedback would be great.

  3. Cyberbeach says:

    I thought she said she killed “Liddy’s parrot” referring to J Gordon Liddy, and that the guywith the parrot on the bus was supposed to be Liddy.

  4. @marypascoe says:

    WOW! This site is amazing! Well done! Oh, and "in the weeds" came from all the tickets being rung to the kitchen piling up like weeds, although we say it in the front of house, too. 🙂

  5. KPL says:

    Actually, the K-mart is accessible from the Long Island Rail Road concourse within Penn Station.

  6. Cat says:

    Cam, thanks for the best 30 Rock site! I watch episodes on my laptop with the relevant episode trivia open in a separate window next to it. Look forward to more postings. Thank you!

  7. Jasper says:

    It's the second time battery throwing is mentioned 😀
    s04e15 Don Geiss, America, and Hope

    Jack: Kabletown is a great company. Even if it is from …Philadelphia.
    Liz: GO EAGLES! [throws snowball]
    Jack: How did you even get a snowball?
    Liz: PHILLY RULES! CHEESESTEAKS! BOBBY CLARKE! WILL SMITH! Your town sucks!
    Jack: You do not want this argument, Lemon. Boston is the greatest city in the world.
    Liz: Boo.
    Jack: Boston Tea Party. Boston creme pie. Boston Rob Mariano. Birthplace of Benjamin Franklin! [points]
    Liz: Yeah. Then he looked around, realized it sucked and moved to Philadelphia!
    Jack: [throws battery]
    Liz: [covers face] Did you just whip a battery at me?

    Also: keep up the great work, this site is awesome 🙂 !

  8. click here says:

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  9. Found some good stuff in your information, write some more.

  10. Dan says:

    > And a reader pointed out this is the second time they’ve mentioned throwing a battery! Is that a thing?

    It's definitely a thing. More specifically, a Philly sports fan thing…
    http://www.sportspickle.com/news/876/9-terrible-p

  11. The education is the only way which convey us the full meaning of the each and every thing. The education makes us the more investigational and analytical then the others.

  12. We wanderers, ever seeking the lonelier way, begin no day where we have ended another day; and no sunrise finds us where sunset left us. Even while the earth sleeps we travel. We are the seeds of the tenacious plant, and it is in our ripeness and our fullness of heart that we are given to the wind and are scattered.

  13. In moments of great uncertainty on my travels, I have always felt that something is protecting me, that I will come to no harm.

  14. CCbuscompany says:

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  15. There is no point in hurrying because you are not actually going anywhere. However far or long you plod, you are always in the same place: in the woods. It’s where you were yesterday, where you will be tomorrow. The woods is one boundless singularity. Every bend in the path presents a prospect indistinguishable from every other, every glimpse into the trees the same tangled mass. For all you know, your route could describe a very large, pointless circle. In a way, it would hardly matter.

  16. The vast distances that separate the stars are providential. Beings and worlds are quarantined from one another. The quarantine is lifted only for those with sufficient self-knowledge and judgment to have safely traveled from star to star.

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