30 Rock Season 5

30 Rock S05E01: "The Fabian Strategy"

0:00 Liz[phone rings, waking up Liz] No, Tom Jones, no! [Liz answers] JackLemon, it’s Jack. LizWhoo Jackie… JackOh Lemon, Avery and I just got back from the most amazing vacation on Paul Allen’s yacht. Tom Jones is a fantastic Welsh … Continue reading

30 Rock S05E02: "When It Rains, It Pours"

00:00 Liz[to Jenna] …hanging out with him is so easy — Liz is talking about Carol, her boyfriend, played by Matt Damon. They also seem to be just outside of 30 Rockefeller Plaza. 00:03 Construction WorkerHey yo! [Liz and Jenna … Continue reading

30 Rock S05E03: "Let's Stay Together"

0:00 LizLook at this. [holding up a sign reading F. KRUGER] The writers put it on my door. JackI don’t know what that’s referring to. Liz: It’s referring to this ONE time that I got a chemical peel before work. … Continue reading

30 Rock S05E04: "Live Show"

This episode was broadcast twice, first for the 8:30pm ET time slot, and again three hours later for the 8:30pm PT time slot. There were a number of differences, but most of them were minor slip-ups or dialog tweaks. New … Continue reading

30 Rock S05E05: "Reaganing"

00:00 JackListen, Greg, I’ve got the next big reality show: we put a bunch of people on a plane, fly them over the Atlantic, then Tom Bergeron comes out and reveals… that the pilot is a six year old boy. … Continue reading

30 Rock S05E06: "Gentlemen's Intermission"

0:00 AveryI know I’m jumping the gun a bit, but I had this made for the baby at Hermès. So she can ride the maid! JackIt is adorable, but are we still in love with the name “Charlotte”? Hermès is … Continue reading

30 Rock S05E07: "Brooklyn Without Limits"

0:00 JennaHow’s it going in there? LizGreat. Trying on jeans if my favourite thing. Maybe later I can get a pap smear from an old male doctor. Pap smears. Delightful. Good way to start the episode. So, gentle readers, a … Continue reading

30 Rock S05E08: "College"

0:10 JennaLiz, women wearing men’s watches is so over. The new thing is to get an Adam’s apple. Wikipedia’s a little crap on the origin of “Adam’s apple,” lazily saying it’s just from the Biblical story of Adam, but another … Continue reading

30 Rock S05E09: "Chain Reaction of Mental Anguish"

0:00 TracyHey, what was that sound? It was opportunity knocking! JackNo one knocked. You just barged in. Donald[wearing a t-shirt that says “Opportunity”] Knock, knock. I shouldn’t even have to explain this, but “opportunity is knocking” means keep your eyes … Continue reading

30 Rock S05E10: "Christmas Attack Zone"

0:00 LizMerry Christmas Eve Eve, Jack. JackLikewise, Lemon. Is there any chance you’ll still be around tomorrow? LizSure. You wanna go to the Penn Station K-Mart with me and then watch Tootsie? Pennsylvania Station is a major train station in … Continue reading

30 Rock S05E11: "Mrs. Donaghy"

There was a 5 week break between the last episode (S05E10 “Christmas Attack Zone”) which aired 9-Dec-2010, and this episode. 0:00 JonathanHappy New Year! Congratulations on getting married, sir. I know I didn’t deserve to be invited, so I thought … Continue reading

30 Rock S05E12: "Operation Righteous Cowboy Lightning"

0:00 LizIt doesn’t matter how long you’ve lived in New York, it’s still fun to look up and pretend all the building are giant severed robot penises. JackBe quiet, Lemon. It’s happening. [GE neon sign goes out, replaced by Kabletown … Continue reading

30 Rock S05E13: "¡Qué Sorpresa!"

This episode’s title, “¡Qué Sorpresa!” means “What a Surprise!” in Spanish. 0:00 JackEveryone, I need your attention. Gather up. I said “everyone,” Sketch-Tron 6000. Mr. Hank Hooper, the owner of our new parent company Kabletown, is touring 30 Rock for … Continue reading

30 Rock S05E14: "Double-Edged Sword"

0:00 LizHey, do you have a neck pillow? I blew mine up and now it smells like my mouth. JackI never sleep on planes. I don’t want to get incepted. Are you going somewhere? Ahhh referrring to this summer’s blockbuster … Continue reading

30 Rock S05E15: "It's Never Too Late for Now"

0:00 LizListen up, everyone. I have an announcement to make. As you may have heard, Carol and I broke up last week. They sure did. They had a huge fight on a plane. There were guns and hostages. 0:11 JennaHang … Continue reading

30 Rock S05E16: "TGS Hates Women"

0:00 JennaWonderful news, non-famouses! My publicist just called from rehab – I made the Internet. Liz[looking at laptop] You’re on JoanofSnark.com? FrankOn what? LizJoan of Snark. It’s this really cool feminist website where women talk about how far we’ve come … Continue reading


30 Rock S05E17: "Queen of Jordan"

This episode was shot in the style of a reality show. I hear this is because the writer, Tracey Wigfield, loves her some reality show. And very exciting for you, I’m now an NBC Store affiliate! That’s right! You can … Continue reading


30 Rock S05E18: "Plan B"

0:16 LizAs of this morning he was still saving lives in Africa. Tracy[flashback to Tracy on web cam] I’m doing God’s work here in Africa. Why just yesterday I kicked two naked people out of a garden. Liz[flashback] But Tracy … Continue reading


30 Rock S05E19: "I Heart Connecticut"

This episode had a ton of scenes. Just a whole huge assload of tiny scenes. 0:00 LizWe need to talk. Right now. [grabs book from Dotcom and throws it] We know that Tracy’s not in Africa. He’s hiding somewhere in … Continue reading


30 Rock S05E20: "100"

This was the 100th episode of 30 Rock, and was officially S05E20 and S05E21. All in one. 0:00 Jack[puts on tie] LizThis better be important, Jack. I was in the middle of bidding on a bag of bras on eBay. … Continue reading

30 Rock S05E22: "Everything Sunny All the Time Always"

0:00 Sherry[singing with Jack] Hush island baby, tomorrow you shuck the cane. Your little fingers bloody, prepare to be whipped. Jack[singing with Sherry] Hush island baby, tomorrow you shuck the cane. Your little fingers bloody, prepare to be whipped. This … Continue reading


30 Rock S05E23: "Respawn"

This is the final episode of Season 5. 0:00 Dr. SpacemanAll right, now that the popsicle’s melted we’ve got ourselves a tongue depressor. LizI wanted you to look at these cold sores. I get them when I’m stressed out. Dr. … Continue reading